


Start From the Beginning

by EverAnon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, I provide equal opportunity suffering, I'm going to ignore any and all paradoxes, Odin is a douche in this story, Really making everyone suffer, This is purely an exercise in making Thor suffer, Time Loop, Time Travel via Deus ex Machina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-08 06:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1930611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverAnon/pseuds/EverAnon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Svartalfheim Thor is desparate to bring his brother back, by any means necessary.  But when he gets his wish, will it actually be what he wants?  Or will his second chance become just another nightmare?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_What do you want, Odinson?_

“I have come to beg for the life of my brother.” Thor was resolute. Determined. He knew it was selfish of him, but for all Loki had done, he was still his _brother_. Loki had cheated death twice before. Why not a third time?

_I did not ask why you have come. I asked what you_ **_wanted_ ** _._

Mist swirled before him, and Thor’s mind went hazy. He swallowed. Everything that had seemed so clear started slipping away like sand through his fingers. He…of course he wanted Loki back. Why else had he started this mad quest? But thoughts of his mother crept into his mind. He had made this trip for Loki, but he loved her no less. He missed her every day. And then there was Odin, the stress of the past few years leaving him in an Odinsleep from which it seemed unlikely he would ever wake. He wanted his father back, grand and shining as Thor had always thought him to be, on the throne of Asgard where he belonged. He wanted…

He didn’t want to have to choose. He wanted things to go back to the way they had been before. Back before everything had gone all wrong.

_Is that truly your desire?_

“Can…can you do that? Make it all as it was before?”

The man in front of him seemed amused. _You wish to turn back time itself, Odinson. That is a wish I can grant. But there are consequences, and you may find yourself regretting your choice. Nothing comes without a price_.

Thor squared his shoulders. “I would not have come if I feared the cost. Do it.”

 _Very well. You came to bargain for the life of your brother, yes? But fate is a tricky thing, and Death does not easily give up Her conquests. You will have one day and one day only to fix what was broken_.

“What do you…” But it was too late. The mist enveloped him, and Thor was lost to the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a time-loop fic. As such, there is Major Character Death, but it doesn't exactly stick. Everyone will be alive by the end of the story, I promise!
> 
> Updates will be on Mondays and Thursdays.


	2. First Attempt

Thor slowly opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling. When had he come to bed? Last he remembered, he was…

 _Loki!_ Where was he? Thor leapt to his feet. He had to find his brother. Assuming he had not been misled, and that Loki was indeed back among the living. No. He had gotten what he wanted, and Loki was back. There were no other options.

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

Thor blinked. A servant? He strode to the door, flinging it open with rather more force than was needed. The figure on the other side, (Thor recognized the man, but couldn’t quite remember his name), recoiled in surprise.

Thor felt slightly guilty for startling him, but he had more important things to worry about. “Do you know where Loki is?”

The servant frowned. (Einar! That was his name. Thor couldn't believe he had forgotten, Einar had worked in the palace for centuries before dying in the Dark Elf attack.) “I believe Prince Loki is conferring with your father in his study…” He had no time to finish his sentence before Thor was pushing past him. Ignoring Einar’s confused calls, Thor rushed to his father’s study. If Loki was there, then he _hadn’t_ been misled. Loki was alive, and still part of their family, and everything was as it should be. If Loki was there. If Thor could just _see_ him. If…

Thor burst through the doors, and Loki was there, whirling around in surprise. “Thor! Shouldn’t you be…” His words were cut off with a strangled yelp as Thor dragged him into an embrace. Loki was stiff and bony in his arms, but that didn’t matter, because _Loki was in his arms_. “Thor?”

Odin cleared his throat. Thor had almost forgotten he was there. “My son? What is the meaning of this?”

Thor forced himself to let go of Loki, (who stepped back with an odd look on his face), and turned to face his father. Odin looked as regal and commanding as he did in Thor’s memories, and Thor drank in the sight. Finally, his family was together again, as it should have been. Frigga was the only one missing, but Thor no longer doubted that she too lived. He should go find her.

Loki nudged him, and Thor realized he hadn’t answered Odin’s question, had practically forgotten that a question had been asked. “I just wanted…” He stopped, puzzled. What could he say? He could hardly admit to the truth, but lying had never been in his nature. “I thought…”

Odin stared at him. “Is there a reason why you felt the need to rush into my study half-dressed?” Thor flushed with embarrassment, realizing for the first time that in his haste he hadn’t bothered to pull on any more clothes than what he had slept in. No wonder Odin and Loki were both looking at him like he’d gone mad. But he still didn’t know what to say, so he settled for shaking his head. Odin sighed, apparently accepting that no explanation was forthcoming. “Then, perhaps, you would like to return to your rooms and prepare?” Prepare? Prepare for what? Then Thor’s eye caught the details of his father’s armor, and Loki’s attire, and he felt a chill run through him.

The coronation. He had been returned to the day of the failed coronation. It had been taken literally, then, his desire to return to how things had been before everything went wrong. Just before, in fact.

But that was _perfect_. Loki hadn’t yet learned of his heritage. The truce with Jotunheim still held. He wouldn’t attack them, this time, and Loki would never find out what he was. Everything would go as it should have gone the first time. As it would have gone, if not for his impulsiveness and arrogance.

His family would stay together, and this time Thor would ensure that _nothing_ would tear them apart. He would be more openly appreciative of Loki’s skills. He would tell his mother how much he loved her. He would fix _everything_.

“Perhaps it’s simply overexcitement. It is a big day after all.” Loki nudged him again, harder this time, and Thor came back to himself enough to nod.

“Yes, of course. Sorry, father.” Odin’s eyebrows were raised, but he inclined his head in acceptance. Immediately Loki grabbed Thor’s arm and started dragging him out of the study, Thor much too shocked to protest. Loki didn’t let go until they were back in Thor’s rooms, and then whirled on Thor with a furious expression on his face.

“What is the _matter_ with you?”

Lies wouldn’t work on Loki, even if Thor could think of any. The complete truth was, of course, unthinkable. But perhaps, not the whole truth, but a hint of it, would be enough.

“I thought you were dead.” Loki’s mouth dropped open in shock, and Thor forced himself to continue. “I, it seemed so real, you _died in my arms_ , and I thought, I thought I would never see you again, I thought…”

The fury was gone, and now Loki was looking at him with the same strange expression he’d had back in the study, when Thor had embraced him. When Loki finally spoke, he seemed oddly hesitant. “You had a nightmare. About me.”

It was true enough. The past few years had seemed to be nothing _but_ a nightmare, in Thor’s eyes. “Yes.”

Loki shifted uncomfortably, wringing his hands together in a nervous gesture Thor didn’t think he’d ever noticed before. “So as soon as you woke you rushed out of your rooms to find me.”

“Yes.”

“I…wouldn’t have expected you to be so distressed. Not over something like that.”

Was Loki making fun of him? As far as anyone knew, it had been centuries since Thor had been so unsettled by a mere dream.

That…didn’t seem quite right. Loki was fidgeting, eyes cast downwards. If he were making fun of Thor, he’d want to see Thor’s reaction. He’d have a smirk on his face rather than a slight frown.

No, Loki wasn’t expressing his surprise that Thor was so upset by a dream. Loki was expressing his surprise that Thor was so upset by the prospect of Loki’s death.

Thor knew, of course, that Loki hadn’t believed in Thor’s affection for him. _Did you mourn?_ As if it were a question, as if Thor could have simply picked himself up and continued on as if nothing had happened. But he had thought that those doubts were created by Loki’s discovery of his heritage, that Loki had difficulty believing Thor could hold any affection for a Frost Giant. He hadn’t realized just how deep they had run.

Without thinking, Thor placed his hand on Loki’s neck in that old familiar gesture, using it to draw Loki closer to him. “Of course I was distressed. You’re my _brother_ , Loki. I may not always have shown it, but never doubt that I love you.”

Loki’s breath caught in his throat, and Thor found himself wondering how long it had been since he had heard those words. Thor had always loved him, of course he had, but he couldn’t remember saying it. Not like this. Not back when Loki had still been capable of believing it.

Unable to think about that any longer, and remembering a similar conversation, Thor found himself dispelling the tension with a joke. “Now, give us a kiss?” He grinned as he said it, and Loki laughed before stepping back.

“No, I think not. You still have much to do in order to prepare for the ceremony unless you’re willing to be _unbearably_ late. And I have preparations of my own to make.” Loki smiled fondly at Thor before heading to the doors. He paused, briefly, before opening them. “Thor? I’ve been envious, I won’t deny it.” He turned, and for a moment he just looked sad before the expression cleared from his face. “But I love you too. Remember that.” Before Thor could say anything more, Loki opened the doors and was gone.

Troubled, Thor stared after him for a moment. Surely everything would be fine. Nothing had happened until the ceremony…

The ceremony. Of course. Thor had been so distracted by what had happened afterward that he had completely forgotten what happened during the ceremony itself. Loki had shown some Jotnar a secret path into Asgard, and they had snuck into the vault. Nothing had been taken, but the guards had died. Thor didn’t think that had been Loki’s intent, but at this point there was nothing to be done to stop it. Or was there? He couldn’t stop the Jotnar from sneaking in, but perhaps he could help save the guards. Mind made up, he quickly scribbled a note asking them to be on high alert for anyone making trouble during the coronation. Before, they had been completely unprepared. At least now they stood a chance. Without revealing exactly what he knew and how, it was the only thing Thor could think of to do.

He simply hoped it would be enough.

 

* * *

 

It seemed that all of Asgard had turned out for the ceremony, judging by the noise coming from the hall. Thor looked around for Loki, who had been with him as he waited the first time, but didn’t see him anywhere. Undoubtedly Thor’s unexpected outbursts this morning had changed things, delaying Loki’s arrival. Frigga came over to congratulate him, (and to offer some motherly advice), and Thor couldn’t stop himself from embracing her as well. He had known she was alive, but to see her again…

Frigga laughed as she disentangled herself. “Well, if I had known being crowned would cause _that_ reaction, I’d have recommended your father do it long ago. I thought you were getting too old for your mother?”

Thor’s throat was tight. “Never, mother. Never.”

Frigga’s smile left her face as she looked around. “And where is Loki? It’s not like him to be late, and the ceremony is about to start.”

Thor frowned. “I may have delayed him a bit this morning, but I would have expected him to be here by now.” Suddenly troubled, Thor caught a passing servant by the arm, nearly causing him to drop the tray he held. “Have you seen Loki anywhere?”

“No, your Highness. I’m afraid I have not. I can ask around, if you wish.”

Looking at Frigga, whose face reflected the concern Thor now felt, Thor nodded at the servant. “Please do, and if you find anyone that has seen him please send them here.”

The servant bowed once before retreating. Thor felt himself shaking, and tried to calm his nerves. Nothing had happened. Nothing _could_ have happened. It was still too early for the Jotnar to try and sneak in, and even if they had Loki had no reason to be anywhere near the vaults. He hadn’t been the first time, after all. But then the first time he’d been _right here_ with Thor. Where was he now?  

Thor turned to Frigga. “Delay the ceremony.”

“What?” Her eyes were wide with shock. “Thor, my son, this is not the kind of thing that can be delayed. Asgard needs you…”

“ _I_ need to find my brother!” Frigga stepped back, and Thor immediately regretted the harshness of his tone. “Mother, listen, I am sorry, but something is wrong. I know it. I _feel_ it. Please, I must find him.”

Frigga hesitated before nodding. “Very well, I will do what I can. But your father will not be pleased.”

“I’ll worry about that later, after Loki is found.” Thor turned to go, and Frigga stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Find him quickly for me, will you?” Her smile was tight. “Then he and I will have a _discussion_ about how unfair it is for him to worry us so.”

Thor, who remembered well his mother’s _discussions_ , winced. “I will do what I can, mother.” He bent and kissed her cheek, then ran from the room.

The weapons vault. It had to be. Thor had no idea why Loki would have gone there, but it was the only place Thor could think of. The vaults were a good distance away from the throne room, and Thor knew by the time he got there the Jotnar would have already snuck in. Still, if Loki was there…

He heard the sounds of a fight in the hall, and put on another burst of speed. By the time he reached the vault entrance, he could see chaos. A single Jotun, wounded but still fighting fiercely, was in combat with a couple Asgardian guards. Thor threw himself into the conflict, and a few seconds and one final blow from Mjolnir later, it was over. As the Jotun fell to the ground, Thor grabbed one of the guards. “Have you seen Loki? Have you seen my brother?”

Apparently in shock, the guard didn’t answer, but his gaze slid over Thor’s shoulder. Turning, Thor saw another dead Jotun, and just beyond it…

_No._

Loki was still in his ceremonial armor, the same outfit he’d been wearing when he spoke to Thor a few hours (years) ago. He didn’t stir as Thor approached, sinking to his knees beside his brother. There was blood everywhere.

 **_NO_ ** _!_

Thor slid one shaking hand to Loki’s neck. There was no pulse. His chest didn’t rise or fall. It had to be another trick. After all this, after _everything_ , his brother couldn’t be dead. Not again.

“What happened?”

His voice was low, barely audible, but he could sense the remaining guard flinching from his tone. The other had already left, presumably to fetch help. “We, we got your note, your Highness, warning us there might be trouble in the vaults. And shortly after that, Prince Loki arrived and said the same thing. He did some, well, it looked like sorcery to me, but I don’t know much about that. Then he told us to wait here, said there might be some fighting and we should be ready for it. I didn’t, I thought about fetching someone else, but everyone was busy upstairs, and he said he didn’t think there’d be a need, that he should be able to handle it.”

Handle it. Of _course_ Loki would think he could handle it, wouldn’t want to let anyone else know he’d gotten himself in over his head. Why did he always have to be so _stubborn_?

The guard continued, shifting uncomfortably as he spoke. “After a while, there was a glow, and some, well, three of those _creatures_ came through. It looked alright at first, the prince killed one and was fending another off with daggers and some, some illusions, but it grabbed him and he just…stopped. He didn’t look hurt, not then, but he stopped fighting, and it managed to…” The guard trailed off.

Odin had told him, the first time around, that Loki had learned of his heritage when a Jotun had grabbed his arm. That the contact had briefly dispelled Loki’s Asgardian appearance, and he had figured out the truth. Apparently some things were not so easily changed.

Thor pulled Loki’s head onto his lap and started mindlessly combing his fingers through his hair. Loki, always fussy about his appearance, absolutely hated it when his hair was tangled.

Not that it mattered what Loki hated, because Loki was dead. Again.

The guard stepped forward, shock giving way to concern. “Your Highness?” Thor didn’t bother answering, and eventually the guard moved back against the wall. Guarding him, Thor realized dully. In case more Jotnar came or out of fear of what he might do in his grief, he wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter either way.

Footsteps came running down the hall, and a moment later Odin burst in, followed by several more guards. Frigga was not there, which was probably for the best. She shouldn’t have to see Loki like this. Odin’s eye widened in shock before it fell on Thor. “Thor! What happened…” He trailed off as he saw Loki’s body on the floor. “Thor?”

“He’s dead. Loki’s dead.” Thor hadn’t expected to be able to say those words. Maybe repetition made it easier. “A Jotun killed him.”

Odin looked around, dismissed the guards with a gesture, and then came over to kneel beside Thor. He started to place a hand on Thor’s shoulder, but Thor shrugged it off. He was very familiar with grieving by now, and it seemed he was moving rapidly from shock into anger.

“Apparently a Jotun grabbed him, and he was so surprised by what happened then that he stopped fighting. Could you possibly guess what that might have been?” The tone was pure Loki, Loki at his worst, his most destructive, and Thor saw Odin shrinking back from it. This morning he would have cared.

This morning his brother had been alive again, and he had thought everything would be well. This morning he’d had no idea of how close Loki had come to dying on Jotunheim, of how _easy_ it would have been for him to be killed while he reeled from the shock of Odin’s lie. Now he knew, and he was in no mood to be charitable.

Odin found his voice. “My son, I understand your grief, I share it, but…”

“Do you? Do you really share in my grief for the death of _Laufey’s_ son _?_ ”

Odin froze, his eye searching Thor’s face. “How?”

“How do I know? What does it matter? Loki _didn’t_ know, and now he’s dead because of it.” Thor choked on a sudden sob, his anger dissipating as fast as it had come. “He’s dead.”

Odin hesitantly tried to put his hand on Thor’s shoulder again, and this time Thor allowed the contact. What did it matter anyway? If Odin hadn’t lied, if Loki hadn’t shown the Jotnar the way in, if Thor hadn’t ignored and belittled him to where he felt he _had_ to show the Jotnar in...

This had been Thor’s last chance to get his brother back. Which meant it was Thor’s fault it had failed.

A few moments passed, with Thor continuing to mindlessly comb his fingers through Loki’s hair while Odin knelt beside him. No more words were exchanged between them. Thor didn’t know what there was left to say. Perhaps Odin didn’t either.

 

* * *

 

The funeral was held that same night, and Thor found his memories blurring together. This was Loki’s second official funeral, after all, although the first had left no body to burn. His third, if one counted the private ceremony Thor had held after Svartalfheim. That had been a poor thing. He had needed Jane’s help to find a boat, and instead of a body he had filled it with the few items belonging to Loki that he had in his possession. Jane alone had stood beside him then, wanting to ease Thor’s grief even if she did not share it. Now Thor stood between his father and mother, with all of Asgard in attendance and mourning. Publically, at least.

Thor couldn’t help but compare this to Loki’s first funeral. Then, even though no official statement had been made, whispers had already spread regarding the events of those few days. Of how Loki Silvertongue had tricked his brother out of his throne, and plotted to murder him when that attempt failed. That he had been in league with the Jotnar all along. That Thor had been forced to destroy the Bifrost in order to prevent Loki from using it to bring an army against Asgard. The funeral was lavish as was befitting a prince, but no one outside the royal family bothered appearing to grieve. Even Thor’s friends had been more concerned with celebrating Thor’s return than with mourning the loss of their second prince.

Now however all knew that Loki had died valiantly, defending the royal vault from an incursion of Jotun soldiers. Thor was not foolish enough to believe that truly changed the way anyone felt, but faces that had previously been bright with laughter now had a somber cast. _Did you mourn?_ Loki had asked, and Thor, without thought, had replied _We all did_. At the time, Thor had believed his friends were merely trying to raise his spirits, that they too had been grieving in their own ways. He now knew that to be a lie. Not only had they not grieved, but they hadn’t even bothered to pretend. At the time he hadn’t noticed the difference.

The boat was lit, and Thor choked back a sob. This was his third time saying goodbye to his little brother. His third time wishing, _praying_ that he could take it back somehow, make Loki live again. Except this had been his last chance, and he had failed. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a time-loop fic. As such, there is Major Character Death, but it doesn't exactly stick. Everyone will be alive by the end of the story, I promise!
> 
> Updates will be on Mondays and Thursdays.


	3. Second Attempt

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

Thor rolled over on his side, determined to ignore whoever it was trying to get his attention. With Loki’s death he had no one to talk to, nowhere to be, and no desire to do _anything_ other than sleep. He was vaguely aware that there were things he needed to do, steps he needed to take. Malekith was still out there, and he could not bear to lose his mother a second time. He had failed to save Loki; he would _not_ fail to save her. But that was far in the future, and for now, Thor wanted to be left alone with his grief.

“Your Highness?” The knocking resumed, more insistent now.

Feeling beside his bed, Thor grabbed the first thing he found and threw it at the door. The mug shattered with a satisfying **_crash_**. “LEAVE ME BE!”

Silence from the other side of the door, and then the sound of swiftly retreating footsteps. Thor buried his head underneath his pillow, resolved to ignore the rest of the world for as long as possible.

He lost track of how much time had passed, until he heard the sound of quiet footsteps in his room. He didn’t remember hearing the door open, so how...

“Really brother? This is a new feat of laziness, even for you.”

Thor froze. It couldn’t be. He was hallucinating. Loki was dead, dead again, and it was all Thor’s fault.

A huff from beside the bed. “Seriously, you oaf, get _up_. Father will have both our heads if you’re late.” The blankets were suddenly removed. Startled, Thor shifted to clutch at them, removing his head from the pillows in the process. He blinked in the sudden light, then looked…

Into the irritated eyes of his brother.

Thor couldn’t think. Couldn’t _breathe_. Loki was dead. Thor had been to the funeral, seen the body burn. Loki was _dead_. Loki was … bodily attempting to pull him out of bed.

“This is ridiculous, Thor, only _you_ could find sleep more important than your own coronation!”

Coronation? Had he been given another chance? Was Loki truly here?

Loki had just enough time to squawk in surprise before Thor tackled him, knocking them both to the floor. Thor didn’t care. Didn’t care about anything, because he had somehow miraculously been given another chance to make things right.

“Thor?” Loki’s voice was hesitant now, confused. “Is something wrong?”

Thor opened his mouth and suddenly realized he had no idea how to reply. _Something_ had happened (yesterday, in another time, before?) to make Loki go to the vaults. Logic suggested it had been something Thor had said. Thor couldn’t let that happen again.

“No, brother, of course not! It is simply … a fine day. A glorious day!”

Thor felt foolish, but the creases on Loki’s forehead were easing. Apparently it took very little reassurance for him to decide that any amount of foolishness was just Thor being Thor. He almost felt insulted.

“Well then,” Loki’s tone was dry, “perhaps you could add to the gloriousness of this particular day by GETTING OFF ME?!”

Oh. Right. Sheepishly Thor stood up, offering a hand to his brother which was immediately slapped away. Loki proceeded to ignore him entirely for the time it took him to smooth his clothes, before finally turning back with a long-suffering sigh.

“Focus, Thor. Your coronation. It’s well past time for you to start getting ready.” Loki turned to go, and Thor felt a sudden moment of panic. What if Loki left? What if Loki died, again, because Thor wasn’t there to protect him?

“Perhaps you could stay with me, brother? Just to make sure everything goes well.” Loki paused in the act of opening the door, and Thor put on his most appealing smile. It rarely worked on Loki, but maybe it would today. It had to.

Not that Loki turned around to see it. “I have preparations of my own to make, Thor. I’m sure you can manage on your own.” And without another word, he swept out the door.

Thor stopped himself from calling out after him. Surely Loki would be fine. Nothing would happen until later, and if he still hadn’t appeared by the time the coronation was ready to begin Thor would tear the palace down looking for him. Everything would be well. But then, that was what he had thought before.

 

* * *

  

Thor repeated many of the same events as if in a daze. He wrote a note to the guards warning them to be ready, dressed in his ceremonial armor, and went to the room to wait for the coronation to start. Just when he was starting to feel anxious, Loki appeared.

“Nervous, brother?”

The first time around, the very first time, there had been jokes about cows and feathers. Friendly teasing, between brothers, or at least so Thor had always thought. He had never bothered to find out if Loki felt the same.

Thor smiled. “Never. Not with you beside me.” Loki’s eyes widened minutely, and Thor continued. “I can’t do this without you, brother. I need an advisor if I’m to keep the Nine Realms in peace. And you were always better at diplomacy than I.”

Loki swallowed. “I thought you rather despised diplomacy. Not enough, heh, _glory_ for your tastes.”

“I was wrong.” Loki gaped openly, too surprised to even bother trying to hide it. Thor tried briefly to remember if he’d ever uttered those words before. He didn’t think he had. “I was wrong. Peace is far more valuable than war, and diplomacy will be needed if we’re to have it.” He put his hand on the side of Loki’s neck, drawing him closer. “I need _you_ , Loki.”

For a second Loki looked at him like he’d never seen him before, before pasting a smile on his face. “Give us a kiss?” he said impishly, and Thor couldn’t help but laugh. Then he grabbed the back of Loki’s head, dragged him down slightly, and (mindful of the horns), planted a kiss on his forehead.

The look of shock on Loki’s face when he let go made the gesture more than worth it.

As the ceremonial horn sounded, Thor smiled. “Go on, brother. I’ll be along.”

Loki slipped out the door, and as before Frigga appeared a moment later. “It’s all right to be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous. At least, not about the coronation.” Thor stepped forward and pulled her into an embrace. He could never allow himself to forget that this wasn’t just a second chance for Loki, it was a second chance for him to save his mother too.

Frigga smiled at him, even as she stepped back. “Well, if I had known being crowned would cause _that_ reaction, I’d have recommended your father do it long ago. I thought you were getting too old for your mother?”

“You know better than that, mother.” He bent forward and kissed her cheek. “I could never be too old for you.”

“Hmm. I suppose that’s true.” She smoothed her skirts, and looked to the door. “I also suppose that I should take my place, now that I’ve had the chance to see you. Don’t keep your father waiting.” With one last smile, she swept out of the room, and Thor was once again left to wait alone.

The first time, Thor had deliberately delayed his entrance as long as possible. Partially because he wanted to bask in the people’s adoration, and partially because he really had been nervous. This time, he made his way to the throne room when he was expected, and entered without any of the antics he’d shown before. He had caught a brief glimpse of what kingship was truly like, and now felt the gravity of the occasion.

Besides, he expected to be interrupted before the coronation could be completed anyway.

The crowds didn’t seem to care. They roared their approval with as much enthusiasm as they had shown before. Thor made his way to the front, and then gracefully sank to one knee. He still winked at his mother though, and received a slightly crooked smile in return.

Odin made his speech, and Thor let his mind wander. He hoped the guards had been forewarned enough to protect themselves from serious injury. He hoped that nothing had changed so much that the Jotnar would succeed in their aim of retrieving the Casket. It hadn’t really occurred to him before, but if Laufey _did_ manage to get the Casket back, there would be trouble for Asgard. He hoped…

“Do you swear to guard the Nine Realms?”

Thor forced his attention back to the matter at hand. “I swear.”

“Do you swear to preserve the peace?”

“I swear.”

“Do you swear to cast aside all selfish ambition and pledge yourself only to the good of all the Realms?”

“I swear.”

“Then on this day, I, Odin Allfather, proclaim you…”

As before, Odin hesitated there. The crowd murmured as instead of finishing his sentence, Odin merely whispered, “Frost Giants.”

Immediately Sif and the Warriors made for their weapons. Thor, in turn, turned and ran from the hall. He knew the Destroyer should have taken care of the matter, but on the off chance it hadn’t worked he would need to be there in order to stop the Jotnar from stealing the Casket. However, by the time he got there the Jotnar were all dead, the Destroyer was moving the Casket back to its pedestal, and a couple very confused guards were hovering nearby with hands still on their weapons.

One of them stepped forward, the same one that had let him know what had happened to Loki yester…before. “Your Highness! The Jotnar, they attacked, they…”

“It’s alright. They’re dead, and nothing was taken. You did well.” Reassured, the guard stopped babbling, and Thor returned to surveying the room. Odin, who had entered behind him, was doing the same.

There was silence for a few minutes. Thor remembered how angry he had been at the interruption of his coronation. At the time he had insisted that they immediately leave for Jotunheim and demand answers, and thought Odin weak for refusing to do so. This time he already had all the answers he needed, and _nothing_ would have been enough to entice him back to Jotunheim. Not knowing what Loki might learn there.

Finally Odin spoke. “The Destroyer did its job, and the Casket is safe, all is well.”

To Thor’s surprise, when he said nothing, _Sif_ spoke up behind him. “But how did they get into the Vault in the first place? If they had taken anything…”

Odin shook his head. “But they didn’t. These Jotun have paid with their lives, and I have a truce with Laufey.” Sif looked ready to protest again, but Odin held up a hand. “Leave us.”

With a slightly mutinous look, Sif and the Warriors left, taking the guards with them. Only Odin, Loki, and Thor himself were left in the Vault.

Loki was staring at him, an incredulous look on his face. Odin, too, was looking at him, waiting for his reaction. For lack of anything better to say, Thor asked, “Do you know how they got into the Vault?”

Odin scrutinized his face for a moment, then said, “No. But we will find the breach in our defenses and seal it.”

“Is there anything I can do to help with that?”

Loki shook his head. “I’m…afraid not, brother. This is a matter of sorcery, and your talents have never lain in that area.”

Thor nodded. “Of course. In that case, I will return to the hall and let mother know what has happened. We can begin thinking of what to tell the populace.” Now both Loki _and_ Odin were staring at him. Again, Thor felt vaguely insulted. Was it so surprising that he would be capable of doing the obvious thing? “Unless there is some other task for which you believe I would be better suited.”

Odin shook his head. “No, my son. I believe you have chosen the right course of action.” He and Loki exchanged a rather complicated look, before he went on. “Loki and I will stay here, to look for the breach.”

“Very well.” Thor bowed slightly, to acknowledge both that Odin was still king and his acceptance of the task, before leaving the Vault. He could feel their eyes on him as he left.

 

* * *

 

Of all the ridiculous, hare-brained, _stupid_ things for them to do!

It had never occurred to Thor that Sif or the Warriors might cause any trouble. He had needed to persuade them to go to Jotunheim the first time, although admittedly it had taken little persuading. Come to think of it, it had taken very little persuading _any_ of the times that they had committed treason for his sake.

Thor should probably worry about that. Later. After the latest crisis was dealt with.

The crisis in question being that Sif, along with the Warriors, had for some _unfathomable_ reason taken off for Jotunheim. And Heimdall, for some _even more_ unfathomable reason, had let them pass.

For all his talk of honor and oaths, Heimdall had required even less persuading than the rest of them before cheerfully disobeying his king, at least in spirit, on multiple occasions. Thor should probably worry about that too.

Had their reluctance the first time been a show? Hogun had admitted that they shouldn’t have gone. _Sif_ had admitted they shouldn’t have gone, and tried to talk him out of it. By the Nine, what had _possessed_ them?!

Thor was almost as furious now as he had been after the first ruined coronation. At least here there were no tables to flip, and he was maintaining an outward appearance of calm. That thought was almost comforting.

That there were no tables to flip solely because he was back in Jotunheim, standing slightly behind Odin with Loki at his side, twitching every time one of the Jotnar so much as _looked_ at his little brother, was less comforting.

“Allfather, you look weary.”

Laufey was as imposing as he remembered. For that matter, all the Jotnar surrounding him were significantly larger than any in the small group of Asgardians. But then, this was supposed to be a diplomatic mission, not a battle. An attempt to retrieve Sif and the Warriors peacefully before the Jotnar killed them all. Perhaps avert war in the process, although Thor suspected that would be far too much to ask.

Odin drew himself up tall, ignoring the minor insult. “These are but children. Treat them as such. You and I can stop this before there’s further bloodshed.”

Thor winced. Laufey hadn’t reacted well to that the first time around. And thinking back on it, he had been right to be offended. His city had been invaded, his people had died. To have that all dismissed as childish antics?

For the first time, Thor wondered if three days on Midgard had truly been punishment enough for what he had done.

As expected, Laufey snorted with disdain. “We are beyond diplomacy now, Allfather. They will get what they came for, war, and death.”

Thor tensed, preparing to run. This wasn’t going to be quite as easy as a simple spell knocking the Jotnar back and leaving room for the Bifrost to open. Sif and the Warriors were in sight, but well-guarded, and any spell would hit them as well. The entire group would have to be together before they could escape. Thor would probably have to kill the Jotnar guarding them. The _people_ guarding them, who were just doing their jobs.

The thought was far more sickening than it had once been.

“So be it.” Odin brought his spear down on the ice.

The spell blasted back the Jotnar, all of them, and brought Sif and the Warriors to the ground. Thor started towards them, only to have his arm grabbed. Father. What was he _doing_? He was…Odin was dragging him back, raising Gungnir with his other hand. Before Thor could do more than shout in protest the swirling colors of the Bifrost surrounded them. Sif’s stricken face was the last thing he saw.

They landed on the Observatory together, and Thor jerked his arm out of Odin’s grasp as quickly as possible. “What have you done?! Why did you bring us back?”

Odin barely looked at him. “It was a foolish hope to begin with. There was little chance that Laufey would agree to anything, but I had to try and avert war.”

“So you, you, you just LEFT THEM THERE?!”

Heimdall, on the other side of Odin, was _fidgeting_. Thor didn’t actually think he’d ever seen him do that before. “Your majesty…”

“Silence!”

Heimdall froze, and Odin turned back to Thor. “What did you expect me to do? Singlehandedly destroy the entire Jotun army just to protect your friends?”

“We can’t just leave them there. We have to go back!”

“We ‘have’ to do nothing. They broke one of our most important laws and started a war. The consequences are on their own heads.”

Thor was in shock. No. This couldn’t be happening. He was angry, he wanted to know why they had ever _thought_ of going to Jotunheim on their own, he wanted to shake some sense back into their heads, but he most certainly didn’t want them _dead_. To hear Odin so callously throwing away their lives…

Odin had been willing to sacrifice all the warriors of Asgard to Malekith as well. At the time, Thor had believed that to be grief talking. Surely the Allfather had more regard for the lives of his subjects than that. Surely.

Didn’t he?

Loki would know what to do. Loki _always_ knew what to do.

Loki wasn’t there.

“Loki?” His voice was oddly small. Because he already knew. He didn’t want to know, but he knew.

Odin looked shocked for a second, then he whirled around, eye searching every corner of the Observatory.

Heimdall stepped forward. “Your Majesty, by the time you summoned the Bifrost Loki had already rushed forward to try and rescue the others. I couldn’t bring him back with you, not without endangering the safety of Asgard.”

Odin had grabbed his arm, to stop _him_ from doing anything foolish. But at least before all this began, Loki had been remarkably loyal. When they’d fought together, it was always _Loki_ that had looked out for the others, guarding their backs. He may not have liked Thor’s friends, but he never would have left them behind. Odin, fixated on Thor, hadn’t thought to stop him. Hadn’t, as near as Thor could tell, thought of Loki at all.

Then again, until this moment, neither had Thor.

“Send us back.” Thor barely recognized his own voice. “Send us back!”

Odin ignored him, focusing on Heimdall. “Does he yet live?”

Heimdall shook his head, and Thor felt his world dissolve into a grey mist.

 

* * *

 

Thor woke in the healing rooms, with Eir fussing around him. Shock, she said, looking sympathetic. No wonder, after everything that had happened. Odin was nowhere to be seen, but Frigga was waiting by his bedside, wringing her hands in concern. Loki shared that particular nervous gesture. He’d never noticed that before.

Shock. Such a simple word for how he felt now, like everything was somehow a thousand miles away, too distant to worry about. His mother’s words sounded muffled, like he was under water.

Ignoring the world, Thor rolled over, put his head under the pillow, and slept.


	4. Third Attempt

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

Thor rolled over onto his back and blinked up at the ceiling of his rooms. He had gone to sleep in the Healing Rooms, so unless someone had moved him back into his own…

“Your Highness?” The knocking continued. Just as it had the day before, and the day before that.

Thor looked around his room, noticing the ceremonial armor in its place, still waiting to be worn. He felt beside his bed and recovered a mug, the same one he had shattered against the door yesterday to get the interminable knocking to stop.

He swallowed. “Thank you, I’m awake. I do not require any further assistance at this time.” A moment’s pause, and the footsteps retreated.

How could this be? He’d thought, when traveling to bargain for Loki’s life, that he would be sent back in time. Given a second chance to make things right. When Loki had died and he’d awoken to find himself once again reliving the same day, he’d thought perhaps the man had taken pity on him. Fortunate, but not an event he expected to be repeated. Now it seemed clear that he was going to continue reliving this day until…

Until what?

_You will have one day and one day only to fix what was broken_.

Saving Loki. This day was going to repeat until he could figure out how to keep Loki from dying. Which shouldn’t be that hard. Loki had survived the first time, when Thor hadn’t even realized there was any danger that he might _not_.

But then his first time reliving this day Loki had gone to the Vaults and died. His second time they had ended up in Jotunheim, and again Loki had died. What was it the man had said?

_Death does not easily give up Her conquests._

Thor buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t keep watching Loki die over and over, even knowing that he would wake up the next morning with Loki alive and well. He _couldn’t_. He would go mad.

It didn’t seem he was being given a choice.

_Nothing comes without a price_.

Well, he couldn’t say he hadn’t been warned.

Thor rolled out of bed, staring at the ceremonial armor. What would happen if he did _nothing_? Just stayed in here, told someone that the coronation was canceled, and refused to leave? It went against his instincts, which were screaming for him to find Loki and protect him from anything that might hurt him, but maybe that was what he needed to do. His decisions had resulted in Loki’s death twice now. Perhaps by refusing to do anything at all he could avoid a third time.

Mind made up, Thor moved to a chair, picked up a book, and began to read. He was twenty pages in when Loki appeared. Quite literally, as he materialized through the door rather than bothering to knock.

“Really brother? Of all the times to pick up reading as a hobby, you chose _today_?”

Thor marked his place in the book and drank in the sight of his brother. Loki’s face was slightly flushed with irritation, his eyes boring into Thor’s own. He was _alive_. Ultimately, all that mattered was keeping him that way.

Thor couldn’t stop from smiling, even if he’d wanted to. In fact, considering Loki’s likely reaction to his next sentence, he made the smile as appealing as possible in an attempt to soften the blow. “I’m canceling the coronation.”

To his surprise, (and faint disappointment), Loki barely reacted at all. “Truly, brother, you should leave the jests to me. You have no talent for them. Now stop dawdling before Father has both our heads.”

“It is no jest. I’m not ready to be king.”

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “What is this nonsense? You’ve had no doubts before. The ceremony has been planned for months!”

Thor shook his head. “I was wrong. I’m not ready. You of all people should know that.”

Finally Thor got the reaction he’d been waiting for, as Loki’s face flushed and his hands clenched into fists. “Of _course_ I know that, you oaf! But you want to be crowned, and Father wants you crowned, and the _entirety of Asgard_ wants you crowned! So put on the armor and that ridiculous helmet, and go give the people what they want!”

Thor shrank back slightly. He’d expected confusion, shock, and outright disbelief, but he’d _also_ expected that Loki would be happy he’d realized he wasn’t ready. He hadn’t expected this. Why was Loki so angry?

Finally finding his voice, Thor pleaded, “Loki, _please_. I can’t do this. I cannot tell you why, but I just _can’t._ ”

Loki calmed slightly, his breaths slowing. He stared at Thor for another moment, perhaps hoping to discover the answers he was looking for in Thor’s face, before nodding. “Very well. I’ll figure something out.” Without another word he left the room, slamming the door behind him. Thor took a deep breath, then returned to his book.

 

* * *

  

Of course by “figure something out” Loki had meant “fetch Father and get him to knock some sense into you.” What else had Thor expected him to do?

Thor had been staring at his book, unable to concentrate on the words enough to actually read it, when Odin burst into the room. He hadn’t been pleased by Thor’s insistence that he wasn’t ready to be king. Not at all. The resulting _discussion_ lasted only a few moments before Odin apparently decided that the sensible thing to do was to grab him by the arm and start dragging him down the hall. Thor protested, struggled, and even tried using Mjolnir, all to no avail. He might have had more luck moving Asgard itself than in changing Odin’s course. He’d forgotten just how strong his father could be. Loki paced beside them, forehead creased in concern.

It didn’t take him long to realize their destination. The Healing Rooms? He had seen rather a lot of them of late, but he wasn’t injured, nothing was wrong with him, so why were they going there?

He had no more time to contemplate this before Odin opened the door and stormed inside. “My son requires a healer, at once!”

The room was empty except for a couple apprentices. One immediately ran to fetch Eir. The other stepped forward, clearly intimidated by Odin’s demeanor but determined nonetheless. “What…” she paused, swallowing hard. “What appears to be the matter, your Majesty?”

Thor was rather wanting to know that himself.

“There’s some enchantment on my son. He was speaking nonsense earlier.”

“Nonsense?” Thor was appalled. This hadn’t been what he’d wanted at all. “No, Father, listen. I canceled the coronation because I know I’m not ready to be king. That’s not nonsense, it’s truth! There is no enchantment, nothing is wrong…”

Odin didn’t even look at him. “You see?”

“Yes, your Majesty.” The apprentice gestured them into a private room. “Eir will be here momentarily. I am certain she will be able to discover the nature of the enchantment on Prince Thor.”

“THERE’S NO ENCHANTMENT!”

Once again, Odin chose to ignore his outburst in favor of dragging him to the bed. “Lie down, my son. Eir will be able to help you.”

Thor stopped struggling, since clearly it wasn’t doing any good anyway. They weren’t _listening_ to him. He folded his arms on his chest and sulked. Considering how he had used to act, behaving like a petulant child might do more to convince them that he was well than any attempts at reason.

Not that it appeared to be working. Odin was just standing there, apparently ready to physically prevent Thor from leaving. Loki was gesturing with one hand while muttering words Thor couldn’t quite make out. Probably attempting to figure out the nature of the non-existent “enchantment.”

This was ridiculous. Clearly he hadn’t thought this course of action through. Choosing to do nothing at all had simply made everyone think he was under a spell, for why else would the Mighty Thor suddenly have doubts about his own ability to rule?

At least as long as Loki was here he would be protected. The Healing Rooms were among the safest in the palace. Which was the _only_ thing that had gone right this day.

Loki stopped muttering and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I’m afraid I cannot untangle this. To all my senses, there’s no enchantment at all. It must have been cast by a powerful sorcerer indeed.” He paused, frowning. “Or perhaps there really is no spell.”

“Do you believe your brother to be so changeable that he would decide overnight to throw away his birthright?” There was a strange note in Odin’s voice, and Loki winced. “Perhaps you think this means _you_ should be king?”

Thor froze. Surely Odin wasn’t insinuating…

“I do not desire a throne. You know that, Father.” Loki’s face had gone pale, and his fingers trembled slightly.

Odin turned away without acknowledging Loki’s words, a dark look on his face.

It made sense, in a twisted way. Odin believed Thor to be under an enchantment. A very specific enchantment, making him give up the throne for what must seem to be no reason. Loki was a powerful sorcerer who happened to be next in line for that same throne.

Thor could understand why Odin might think Loki had something to do with this. It wasn’t even entirely inaccurate, after all, Loki _had_ done something to delay the coronation. He might not have placed a spell on Thor, but Odin’s suspicions weren’t entirely unfounded.

Looking at his brother’s pale face and wide eyes, Thor couldn’t help but hate Odin a little for them anyway.

Eir bustled into the room, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the sudden tension. She moved over to Thor, glanced at him for a second, then turned to the others.

“Out. Both of you.”

Eir was perhaps the only person in Asgard who would speak to her king in such a fashion. Who would dare give Odin Allfather an order. Normally Thor admired her for it, but not right now. Not when she was sending Loki away.

“No!” Everyone turned to stare at him, and Thor frantically tried to come up with an argument. “I mean, Loki is a master sorcerer, shouldn’t he at least stay to help you figure out the problem?”

Odin’s face darkened further. “No, I think not. Come, Loki.” He moved to the door, and after a second’s hesitation Loki followed.

“But…” They didn’t turn around, didn’t _listen_. No one was listening to him at all. Not even Eir, who was now fussing over him, using equipment that Thor didn’t even recognize.

Thor made to push himself off the bed, to follow, because he was _not_ going to let Loki die on him again. Not this time. But Eir pushed him back with surprising strength, and when he started to fight her she did … something, that made his world start to blur. A spell of some kind?

She’d _sedated_ him. He tried to punch her on general principle, but his arm wouldn’t cooperate. Everything was spinning.

“Calm down, just relax…”

 

* * *

 

Thor woke in the Healing Rooms. At first he couldn’t remember what had happened. A sparring match gone wrong? He didn’t feel injured.

_Loki_.

Thor bolted to his feet, then had to catch onto the bed as his knees buckled beneath him. He was in the Healing Rooms still, not his own, which meant perhaps it wasn’t too late. Loki was somewhere, and Thor just had to find him. He shook his head to clear it before stumbling to the door.

A guard. There, just outside the door.

“Where is everyone?” The guard startled, then looked guilty. “Where is my brother?”

“Your Highness, I have been instructed to see that you do not leave these rooms. By orders of the King.”

Thor had rather more experience than he wanted in fighting Asgardian warriors. Even dazed from the spell, it took him mere seconds to disarm the guard and knock him unconscious. Thor felt a little guilty about that. At least he was already in the Healing Rooms, and surely someone would find him soon.

In fact, someone else should have already been there. If they seriously believed he was under enchantment, he could be a danger to anyone he encountered. Surely no one had thought a single guard would be enough to stop him from leaving.

There was no one else.

Still leaning on the wall for support, he made his way to the hall. No one was there, either. What had happened? Where could they all have gone?

The Vault. If the Jotnar had still attacked, that’s where they would be. That would explain the disappearance of both guards and healers.

He encountered several more guards along the way. He tensed each time, but none of them gave him a second glance. Apparently Odin’s orders had been kept private. Good. That made things easier.

By the time he reached the Vault, the effect of the sedation had worn off. A group of guards were standing just outside the doors, but none of them moved to stop him. One stepped forward, head bowed.

“Your Highness. My condolences for your loss.”

Not again.

Thor stepped into the Vault. His hands felt clammy, his pulse racing as he tried to make sense of what he saw. Bodies were strewn on the floor, both Jotnar and Aesir. Eir was leaning over one of them, pressing her hands to the wound, but Thor could tell it was too late. He hadn’t thought to warn the guards, this time. Their blood was on his hands.

His father was standing nearby, and his mother was kneeling on the ground, weeping.

Over Loki’s body.

Thor’s legs gave out, and he slid to the floor. He had changed things. He _had_. How could this have happened again?

“Father?”

Odin turned, his expression lost for a second before he focused on Thor. “My son. You should not be here.” He moved forward, taking Thor by the arm. “We should return to the Healing Rooms. You’re not well.” He gestured at Eir, and her mouth twisted for a moment before she stood and began to follow. An apprentice took her place, murmuring reassurances to the guard.

“But…Loki…”

Odin shook his head. “Let us leave your mother to her grief.”

Her grief. Not Odin’s. Not Thor’s.

Thor didn’t protest. He’d held Loki’s body before, too many times. All he wanted to do was sleep and pray he woke to yet another chance.


	5. Fourth Attempt

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

“I’m awake, now please go away.” The sound stopped, leaving Thor alone with his thoughts.

If he canceled the coronation or otherwise did something to make Loki reconsider letting the Jotnar in, Loki died in the Vaults. Loki had died there twice now, and twice was more than enough to make Thor decide not to let it happen again. No. He had to act normally until the ceremony, to ensure Loki was in the throne room with him when they attacked.

But then it seemed if he _didn’t_ go to Jotunheim, Sif and the others would. He needed to prevent that somehow. Perhaps if he went to talk to them, to keep them from doing anything foolish. They would listen to him. They always did, even when he was persuading them into the most ridiculous quests, so surely they would listen when he tried to talk them out of one. If no one went to Jotunheim, Loki couldn’t die there.

That would work. It _had_ to work.

Mind made up, Thor wrote a quick note to the guards. He did not want to be responsible for their deaths again, not if it could be helped. That task completed, he slowly dressed himself in his ceremonial armor and went to the anteroom to wait for the coronation to start. He hadn’t seen Loki at all this morning, so surely he would appear now. Thor just had to wait for him.

“Nervous, brother?”

Thor felt his shoulders relax, the tension easing. Loki was here, safe and far away from the Vaults. The guards had been warned. So far, everything was going as smoothly as he had hoped.

Now that Loki was safe, Thor could say everything he needed to. Dispensing with the formalities, he cupped the side of Loki’s neck. “Perhaps. This is a responsibility I don’t believe I’m ready for. But I know that you will be there beside me, and together there is nothing we can’t do.”

Loki’s smile faded, and he looked solemn. “Together? I am not the one being made king.”

“No, but you would be a good one, better than I in many ways. You understand what it means to rule in a way that I do not. Father might not see that, but I do. I will need you, Loki. Beside me as my equal, not hidden in the shadows.”

Loki had gone very still, his expression shuttered. “Sometimes I’m envious, and I won’t deny that, but I don’t want the throne, Thor. I never have.” He hesitated. “You will be a good king.”

The horn sounded, and Loki pulled away. “I suppose I should take my place, then. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mother stopped by. I believe she was looking for you.”

Thor laughed. “Thanks for the warning, brother. Now go. I’ll be along shortly.”

Loki left, and moments later Frigga entered. “It’s all right to be nervous.”

“Anyone with sense would be.” His mother startled slightly, and Thor continued, “Being king, leading an entire people … it’s too much for one man.”

Frigga smiled. “That’s why you have your family to help you. After all, with me for a mother, what more could you possibly need?”

“In this, as in everything else, you are absolutely right, mother.” Thor embraced her, careful not to wrinkle her dress, then stepped back. “You should go. Loki will be waiting to escort you.”

“Don’t keep your father waiting.”

“I won’t, mother.” Frigga left, and Thor was left standing alone. “I won’t.”

Thor took his place and waited for the ceremony to start. As before, he chose to walk solemnly to the front of the throne room. Not that it dimmed the crowd’s enthusiasm any. Thor couldn’t help but shake his head slightly. He would have been a _terrible_ king. Why had Loki been the only one to see that?

He knelt, listened to Odin’s speech, and proclaimed his own oaths. Thrice sworn, now, even if he was the only one to remember it. Once again Odin noticed the Frost Giants just before the ceremony could be completed, and the hall dissolved into chaos.

Thor ran for the Vaults as was expected of him, with Odin, Loki, Sif, and the Warriors all following behind. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw the guards standing, confused but mostly unharmed, and the Destroyer returning the Casket to its place.

One of the guards immediately started babbling, ““Your Highness! The Jotnar, they…”

“Calm yourself. The Jotnar are dead, and nothing was taken. You did well.” The guard nodded, looking more confident now that someone was there to tell him what to do, and moved back along the wall.

Rather than waiting for Odin to speak, Thor decided to take the initiative. “This was a small group. They couldn’t possibly have succeeded in taking anything, but they felt the need to try. An act of desperation, not of war.”

Sif coughed behind him. “But how did they get into the Vault in the first place?”

“A breach in our defenses, perhaps, but now that we know it exists we can seal it to prevent any further incursions.” Sif started to protest, but Thor held up a hand. “There’s nothing to fight here, Sif. Leave us, and I’ll talk with you shortly.” She frowned, a troubled expression on her face, then bowed slightly before leaving. The others trailed along behind.

Thor winced. It was never a good sign when Sif chose to fall back on formality. He would _definitely_ have to talk to her.

Odin and Loki were the only ones left in the Vault, both of them staring at him incredulously. Loki was the first to recover. “That was spoken like a true king, brother. Far more … patient, then I would have expected from you.”

Thor snorted. “I was seconds away from being crowned. How else should I have spoken?” Loki shifted slightly, but made no further comment.

“Loki and I will stay here, to look for the breach,” Odin said. “If we are fortunate, we will be able to find and seal it quickly.”

Nodding, Thor added, “As I cannot help you with that, perhaps I should go upstairs. Mother should be told about what happened, and I should also speak with Sif and the Warriors, to reassure them that at least for the moment, all is well.” Odin nodded, an inscrutable look on his face, and Thor turned to leave.

Given what had happened the last time things went this way, Thor decided to track down Sif first. He found her, along with Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral, in the same chamber where he had once convinced them to travel with him to Jotunheim. It seemed oddly fitting that he would have to talk them _out_ of traveling to Jotunheim in the same spot.

Sif looked angry. Very angry. Thor would need to do some groveling if he didn’t want to be beaten into the ground during their next sparring session.

Assuming that he succeeded in saving Loki’s life, so they could _have_ a next sparring session.

“My friends!” Volstagg waved in response while chewing on … something, Thor didn’t want to look too closely. Everyone else nodded their acknowledgement but otherwise remained silent.

“Father and Loki are sealing the breach in our defenses as we speak. Everything is under control.”

“Under control?” Sif hissed, and Thor instinctively stepped back a pace. “Frost Giants in our _home_ , with no idea how they got there, and you say things are _under control_?!”

She hadn’t been this angry the first time. She hadn’t been angry at all, in fact. _Thor_ had been the one who was angry. Had her calmness just been in response to his temper? An attempt to placate him?

Well, that just meant Thor would have to be the calm one this time. “As I said, Father and Loki are sealing the breach. They won’t be able to come in that way a second time.”

“Those _monsters_ shouldn’t have dared come at all!”

Angry or not, Thor couldn’t let that stand. Not knowing what he knew. “They aren’t monsters, Sif. They’re people, of the Nine Realms, just like you and me. Whatever the actions of a few, you can’t vilify an entire race.”

Sif spluttered, apparently too shocked to even form a coherent response. Fandral was gaping at him, Volstagg had stopped eating, and even _Hogun_ looked surprised.

Thor felt a twinge of guilt. Had his attitude towards the Jotnar really been so bad? All he had done was argue that they weren’t _entirely_ monsters, and his friends couldn’t seem to believe their ears.

No wonder Loki had gone mad. What had Father been _thinking_ , to allow this kind of attitude towards the Jotnar to reign unchecked for so long?

Pushing away his doubts, Thor tried again. “My friends, listen. We don’t know anything about why the Jotnar came here, or what they hoped to gain. With such a small group, it seems unlikely that it was meant as an act of war. The breach will be sealed, and I’m sure Father will think of a way to prevent anything like this from happening again. All we need to do is keep calm and wait for further instructions.”

Fandral hesitated. “This … is not like you, Thor. I would have expected you to demand we rush off to Jotunheim for answers, not advocate calmly sitting around and waiting.”

Thor couldn’t hold back a shudder. If they went to Jotunheim…

“We have a truce with King Laufey, and breaking it would be an act of war. The ceremony may not have been completed, but I _have_ just sworn to preserve the peace. Would you see me an oathbreaker?”

Sif’s face softened. “Of course not, Thor. We’re simply … worried.”

“Understandable.” Thor clapped her on the shoulder. “But we have our duty, and for now our orders are to wait until we have more information. Can you do that?”

Sif and Fandral both nodded. It would have to do.

Crisis hopefully averted, Thor left in search of his mother. He found Frigga in her own rooms, but to his surprise Odin was there as well.

“Father?” He couldn’t keep the confusion out of his voice. “I thought you were looking for the breach?”

“The breach has already been found and sealed,” Odin said. “We knew what we were looking for, and the guards told us exactly where the Jotnar appeared. It was a simple matter.”

Thor hadn’t expected that at all. He had thought that a portal powerful enough to lead from Jotunheim to Asgard would require a great deal of power, and time, to close. Of course Loki had been the one to create the portal in the first place, so perhaps he had his own methods of closing it.

Except Loki _hadn’t_ been able to close the portal, either of the two times he had tried. It must have been Odin’s assistance that made it so easy. Odin was a powerful sorcerer as well as a warrior, after all. Working together, there was probably little they couldn’t do.

Yes. That had to be it.

Ignoring the sudden hint of unease, Thor forced himself to smile. “That is excellent news!”

“Indeed.” Odin’s voice was grim. “But we are still no closer to learning how they discovered this particular portal to begin with.”

Thor frowned. “Since the portal is now sealed and all the Jotnar who traveled here are dead, does it matter how they discovered it? “

“Of course it matters! There might be other breaches in our defenses, ones we know nothing of. This was a small group, but what if next time they bring an army?”

Thor couldn’t believe his ears. Loki had said something similar, the first time. But he had been attempting to persuade Thor into doing something reckless. To hear the same statements from _Father_?

Odin was still talking. “Perhaps we should pay Laufey a visit, to see what he knows.”

That was _precisely_ the action for which he had been banished. Why was Odin recommending it now?

What was happening?

“I…respectfully disagree. We have a truce, if we break it there may be war.”

Odin shrugged. “The truce has already been broken, by _their_ actions, not ours. Nevertheless, this will be a diplomatic visit, not an invasion. Laufey will understand the difference.”

No. No he wouldn’t.

Thor felt his carefully-laid plans slipping through his fingers. If they went to Jotunheim, there _would_ be war. Even if Thor refrained from attacking anyone, something would go wrong. If reliving this day had taught him nothing else, it was that something _always_ went wrong.

And whenever something went wrong, Loki died.

“Father, I believe this is rash. If I were king…”

“But you are not king! Not yet.”

Thor swallowed. “Of course not. Forgive me my presumption.”

Odin nodded, but his eye was still narrowed.

Was the _entire palace_ under enchantment? First Sif and the Warriors chose to go to Jotunheim for no reason, now Odin was doing the exact opposite of everything he had originally told Thor to do…

Frigga, who had been watching the entire argument silently, placed her hand on Odin’s arm and smiled at him. “Perhaps tempers are running a little high, right now. Unsurprising, with all the day’s excitement.”

“Yes, I suppose it’s understandable.” Odin smiled back at his wife. “Regardless, we _must_ find out how much Laufey knows. Thor, choose an honor guard. You will travel to Jotunheim within the hour.”

What Thor wanted to do was cry. He hadn’t wanted this, hadn’t wanted to ever see Jotunheim again.

What he did was bow. “Certainly, Father. I believe Sif and the Warriors Three would be happy to accompany me.” What a laugh that would be, fetching them for a trip to Jotunheim immediately after persuading them not to go. Still, Thor trusted them more than any others.

“Take your brother as well.”

Thor closed his eyes briefly. He had been afraid of this. “Is it wise, Father, to have both of your heirs traveling to Jotunheim? We do not know how King Laufey will react to our presence.”

“I do not expect trouble, and your brother has more experience with diplomacy than you. Perhaps his gift for words will come in handy for once.” Odin frowned. “You have your orders.”

“Yes, Father.” Thor bowed, again, and went to find Sif. Perhaps, if he were very lucky, he could annoy her into knocking him unconscious and simply skip the rest of this day.

 

* * *

 

 “I am Laufey, King of this Realm. Why have you brought the stench of your blood into my world?”

Laufey seated on his throne, with what seemed like the entirety of Jotunheim’s population surrounding them. This was becoming an all-too-familiar sight.

Thor bowed, as was only appropriate for a prince of one Realm visiting the king of another. Despite what Loki may have thought, he was _occasionally_ capable of remembering his lessons. “King Laufey, I mean no disrespect with our presence here. But a small group of Jotnar invaded Asgard and broke the truce we have with your people. We would like to know how, and why.”

Laufey eyes had widened at Thor’s show of respect, but now he smiled. Or at least he showed his teeth. “The house of Odin is full of traitors. As for why, what else did you expect? Your father is a murderer and a thief. He stole what was ours, and left our world in ruins. We have the right to reclaim the Casket.”

Thor hesistated. Of course they couldn’t simply return the Casket, not knowing what the Jotnar had done with it. But nothing Laufey had said was false. Looking around, it was obvious that Jotunheim was slowly dying. They _needed_ the Casket to survive.

What could be done? If he could figure out how to keep Loki alive and break the cycle, he would have to speak with Odin about the matter.

When Thor didn’t respond, Laufey shook his head. “Even you cannot deny my words, Odinson. Those are my answers. The only ones I will give. Now go, while I still allow it.”

Loki saw the opportunity and stepped forward. “We will accept your most gracious offer.” Together they turned and began to walk away.

“Run back home, little princess.” Loki swore, but Thor was expecting it this time. It was a minor insult, really, and he felt ashamed of having allowed it to affect him so the first time. He kept walking.

Perhaps they would be able to make it out of Jotunheim without incident after all.

“No surprise that you must run from us, when you rely on your maidens to do the fighting!”

Sif turned, unable to completely ignore the slur. “This particular ‘maiden’ is one of the fiercest warriors Asgard has ever known.” Thor frantically signaled for her to stop there, but she ignored him. “Keep that in mind when choosing your insults, _monster_.”

DAMN!

The Jotun snarled, swinging a blade of ice at her head even as Laufey shouted for him to stop. Sif more than returned the blow, cleaving the Jotun’s head from its shoulders.

Laufey was still shouting at his people, but now the others were determined to avenge the death of one of their own. There would be no stopping this now.

During the first fight, Thor’s priority had been to kill as many of the Jotnar as possible. Now he just wanted to clear enough of a space for them to call the Bifrost and leave. But they were outnumbered, and badly outmatched. Every Jotun that was killed was replaced by two more, leaving no time to call for Heimdall. And of course, with this many Jotnar surrounding them, there was no guarantee he would answer if they did.

Thor tried to stay close to Loki, only to nearly die of shock when he watched his brother apparently fall off a cliff only to reappear behind a column. How had he never noticed Loki using those tactics before? It was _terrifying_.

“Don’t let them touch you!” Right. As if Thor could have forgotten.

Hogun was frozen to the ground by another Jotun, and Thor turned to help him. Mjolnir handily broke the ice, and he received a nod of thanks. But there were too many Jotnar, and the group was far too scattered for them to escape.

“We have to go!” Thor called, hoping that everyone could hear him. “We have to go _now_!”

Looking around, Thor saw that Fandral’s sword had just broken. Fighting his way to Fandral’s side, Thor hoped that this time he would be able to save him from being impaled. Not that Fandral seemed to care about the gravity of the situation. For some reason he was still _joking_ with the Jotun trying to kill him.

Thor didn’t understand his friends sometimes.

Another quick blow from Mjolnir killed the Jotun attacking Fandral, and Thor grabbed his arm. “Fandral! Make for the Bifrost site, take any of the others you can, we have to go!” Pale, (though thankfully not impaled), Fandral nodded and took off at a run. Thor heard him calling for Sif as Thor set himself to cover their retreat.

Loki. Where was Loki?

A frantic glance around and Thor saw him, just standing there, staring at his arm. There was a dead Jotun in front of him, but he wasn’t moving. Wasn’t fighting.

“Loki! LOKI!”

It was the work of seconds to make his way over. Loki still hadn’t moved, but some awareness was returning to his eyes. He looked around now, scanning his surroundings. Whether for enemies or some evidence that anyone else noticed his arm changing color, Thor had no idea.

“Brother!” Thor shook him. “Brother, we can discuss this later, we have to go!”

Loki nodded, still dazed. “I, yes, of course, I…” His eyes widened. “Thor!”

Before Thor could move, Loki shoved him to one side. He rolled with the unexpected blow, immediately springing back to his feet.

He was too late. The ice spear that had been aimed at Thor’s back was now buried in Loki’s chest.

Loki choked, curling around the injury as much as he could. He fell to his knees, then to the ground. He made no attempt to stand back up.

Thor flung Mjolnir at the attacking Jotun and barely bothered to catch it when it returned. He scrambled to Loki’s side. “No no no, not again, not _again_.”

Blood was trickling from Loki’s lips, and he was having difficulty breathing. His eyes, wide with pain and fear, were fixed on Thor’s. Thor reached for the spear, instinctively wanting to remove what was causing Loki pain, but checked himself. If the spear was removed, Loki would die all the faster. With it left in place, he might make it to the Healing Rooms.

By the Nine, please let him make it to the Healing Rooms.

“Th…Thor…”

“Shh, Loki, don’t try to talk. You’ll be fine, I’ll get you out of here, you’ll be _fine_.” Loki’s lips moved, but Thor couldn’t hear what he was saying. Maybe he wasn’t saying anything at all.

Thor couldn’t carry Loki like this. Slinging him over his shoulder would drive the ice deeper, and any other method would require both arms, leaving Thor unable to defend them against attack. Fortunately Sif had been near enough to see what had occurred, and she was fighting her way back towards them. Thor killed another few Jotnar with Mjolnir, clearing her a path, and then she was there. Thor had never been so happy to see her in his life.

“Sif! If I carry him, can you guard us?”

Her smile was fierce. “With my life.”

Hooking Mjolnir onto his belt, Thor scooped Loki into his arms. He was as gentle as possible, but Loki still moaned. His eyes were glazed with pain. Thor almost wished Loki would fall completely into unconsciousness, because this was going to hurt him badly.

Thor started to run. Loki’s choked whimpers made him cringe, but they had to get out of there if there was going to be any chance at all. Sif was everywhere at once, killing every Jotun that so much as _looked_ at the small group before they could get any ideas about attacking.

Up ahead, Thor could see the Warriors Three had all made it back to the Bifrost site. Hogun and Volstagg, seeing their predicament, started back towards them to help cover their retreat. Without his sword Fandral would have been more of a liability than a help, and so he remained, clutching a dagger in his hands.

At least Laufey hadn’t unleashed the beast this time. Or perhaps he simply hadn’t done so _yet_.

Together the group made their way back to the Bifrost site. Loki’s whimpers had finally ceased, and his eyes were closed. Thor found himself pathetically grateful for that. At least unconscious he wasn’t in any pain. Fandral was there, his face white. “We’ve been calling for Heimdall, but he does not answer.” He hesitated. ”Is Loki…”

“Loki will be fine.” Thor wouldn’t accept any other possibility. “Heimdall? HEIMDALL!”

Volstagg shook his head. “As we said, he does not answer.”

Thor swore, low and vicious, and turned to look back. All he saw were Jotnar, a veritable _sea_ of them. Apparently there wasn't enough room for the Bifrost to open without risking bringing the Jotnar along as well, but there must be _something_ that could be done.

“Heimdall, we’re all here, open the Bifrost, Heimdall please, Loki’s _dying_ …”

To Thor’s surprise, the Jotnar were holding back rather than attacking. It took him a moment to realize that Laufey had regained control of the mob. He stared at Thor, his eyes inscrutable, before slightly inclining his head. With a gesture, the rest of the Jotnar began melting back towards their city. Laufey waited only few seconds before following them.

As soon as the Jotnar had retreated to a safe distance, the swirling colors of the Bifrost surrounded them.

Back in the Observatory, Thor barely noticed Odin standing there, evidently prepared to come to the rescue once again. He barely noticed anything except Loki, still and silent in his arms. Sif moved towards him, placing a hand on his arm, but he shrugged her off.

“Thor…” Without waiting to hear what Sif had to say, Thor took off for the castle, and more importantly, the Healing Rooms. The spear would melt quickly in Asgard’s heat, and Loki would bleed to death without it. There would be time for talk later.

Thor had never run so fast in his life. He burst into the Healing Rooms, badly frightening the apprentices there. “Eir! Eir, I need you, Loki’s hurt!” He set Loki down on the nearest cot, and watched as an apprentice ran to fetch Eir, while another moved forward to assess the situation. Her face fell as soon as she drew near, but she took Loki’s pulse, holding her hand steady for almost a minute before taking it away.

“Your Highness…” The girl swallowed. “I fear the prince is already gone.”

Thor stared at her. “No, no, that can’t be…” Unable to stop himself, he took her by the shoulders and shook her hard. “You can fix this, you’re a healer, FIX HIM!”

Eir hurried into the room, freezing when she saw the scene before her. “That’s enough. Prince or not, that’s enough!” Thor, realizing the girl was crying, that he was hurting her, came back to his senses enough to let her go. Still sobbing, she fled the room.

“Eir?” His voice was lost. “You can fix him, can’t you?”

Her face softened as she looked at Loki, and she came over to examine him. A moment later she shook her head. “Healer I may be, but I do not have the power to return the dead. I am sorry, your Highness.”

Loki was dead. Always, always, Loki was dead.

Because Thor always failed to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I had a bit of an emergency yesterday and was unable to post. The next update will be on Thursday as usual.


	6. Fifth Attempt

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

“Thank you, I’m awake.”

The servant dealt with, Thor rolled over on the bed and stared blankly at the wall. What could he do? No matter what he did, Loki always died.

 _You will have one day and one day only to fix what was broken_.

Fixing things hadn’t worked. He had _tried._ He had done all the things he told himself he would have done before if he had only known. All the things that he had been sure would fix the rift between him and Loki. All the things he wished he had said back when Loki was still capable of believing them to be true. He had told Loki that he loved him, that he appreciated his talents, even that Loki would have been the better king. He remembered the look of shock on Loki’s face when Thor had kissed his forehead, when Thor had admitted he was wrong. He had been _trying_ to fix things, and he had failed.

Perhaps he was focusing on the wrong part of the sentence. The timeline given had been so specific. _One day and one day only_. That had to be the key. If he could keep Loki alive for one day, whatever spell it was that kept him reliving these days would cease. And surely whatever trick it was that made Loki die over and over again no matter what Thor did would cease too.

Unless the man had been lying, and was even now laughing at how _stupid_ Thor had been, how desperate to save his brother that couldn’t be saved…

No. Thor wouldn’t believe that. He _couldn’t_. There had to be _something_.

Loki had survived the first time. Had been alive, angry and _broken_ , but alive. So this time Thor would change nothing. He would act as much as possible exactly like he had the first time. He would tease Loki, invade Jotunheim, shout at Odin. Be banished again.

If Loki survived the day, if Thor woke up on Midgard, then Thor would try to fix their relationship then and pray that the clue had indeed been in the wording. _One day and one day only_. Loki would come to see him on Midgard the day _after_ his banishment, and with the cycle hopefully broken Thor could say what he needed to say. Could tell his brother how much he loved him, and pray that would be enough to keep him from falling.

If Loki still died, if even acting _exactly_ the way he had before wasn’t enough to save him…

Well, then Thor would keep trying. Keep hoping that there was some lesson he needed to learn, some trick that would fix everything, and that the man wasn’t simply laughing at his frenzied attempts. And if it turned out he _was_ , that this was some sort of game to him, well, Thor would deal with that later. After he’d figured out a way to save his brother, regardless of whether or not it was supposed to be impossible.

Surrender was not in his nature.

Thor dressed in a daze, trying to remember as much as he could about the initial coronation day. Who had he talked to? What had he said? He knew he wouldn’t be able to repeat the day exactly, his memory wasn’t good enough for that, but he had to try.

It _hurt_.

Thor had known he had changed. It would have been impossible for him _not_ to change, after the events of the past few years. But now that he was once again acting like a brash, arrogant fool, he realized for the first time how much.

_You are incapable of sincerity._

He jested with Loki and noticed the way Loki’s eyes went distant and cold even as he smiled wider than ever. He hadn’t seen that the first time, hadn’t cared enough to look. How could he have said that? Surely Loki had known he hadn’t meant it?

 _Know your place_.

He felt guilty, killing the Jotnar. They were innocent in all of this, victims of Loki’s spite and Thor’s desperation. He knew that Loki had been the one to let them in, that for all Laufey’s posturing he hadn’t had anything to do with the Vault. Even if Laufey had known of the plans to steal back the Casket, he had no way back into Asgard unless Loki provided it. Meanwhile the other Jotnar were simply defending their king from a mostly-unprovoked attack.

He killed them anyway.

_You are an old man and a fool!_

Loki had tried to speak for him. Thor hadn’t noticed that, the first time. Why? Surely his banishment had all been part of the plan? Or perhaps it hadn’t been. Perhaps Loki had never intended things to go that far, another one of his tricks gone wrong. Thor had never asked.

The impact with Jane’s van seemed to hurt more this time. Then again, hurts you were expecting always did. He staggered to his feet, shouting for Heimdall, for the Bifrost, for _home_ …

Darcy hit him with her “Taser,” and Thor sank gratefully into unconsciousness.

When he woke, he was in the Midgardian Healing Rooms. The first time he hadn’t known what they were, had assumed he had been captured and held for some nefarious purpose. It hadn’t occurred to him that the Midgardians had no idea who he was.

For a moment his heart pounded. Had the day ended yet? Had he finally broken the cycle? He wasn’t sure how long he had been unconscious…

He turned his head and froze. Frigga was there, sitting in a chair by his bedside. That hadn’t happened the first time, and Thor knew what it meant.

“Thor…” Her face was streaked with tears, her hands trembling. “My, my _son_ …”

Thor sat up, looking at his mother. “Loki’s gone, isn’t he.”

“How did you…?”

“Does it matter?”

Frigga reached out to him, checking herself at the last moment. If she touched him, her illusion would be dispelled. She took a deep breath, visibly steeling herself. “Your father is in the Odinsleep. I can bring you back to Asgard, but I cannot reverse his sentence.” Her eyes searched his face. “You will remain mortal.”

It wasn’t as if that mattered. The day was nearly over, and then everything would reset again.

He didn’t particularly want to know, but he had to ask. “How did he die?” It was important that he know all the different ways Loki could die, if there was to be any chance of figuring out how to keep him alive.

Frigga’s eyes filled again with tears, and Thor felt a surge of guilt. His mother had no idea what was going on. Her son had just died, and instead of comforting her he was causing her more pain. He needed to know, but still found himself babbling, “No, that doesn’t matter, you needn’t tell me…”

“I must. There, there should be no secrets in a family.” She choked on a sob. “That was what killed him, in the end. Secrets.”

“What do you mean?” He shifted carefully closer, as close as he could get without touching her. His mother deserved what little comfort he could offer.

“Your brother…I love him as if he were my own, but he is not mine by blood. Was not.” She paused there, waiting for Thor’s reaction, but he had none to offer. “He is, was, Jotun.”

Thor nodded. “I thought as much.” Seeing Frigga’s eyes widen, he amended, “I saw him, during the battle. His arm…it did not seem natural. I have done much thinking since then.” It was true enough. Mostly.

Frigga’s hand covered her mouth as she stifled a sob. “We should have told him. We should have told both of you, _years_ ago, but your father thought it would be best if no one knew. But then you went to Jotunheim, and Loki…suspected something. As you did. But he wanted proof, and so he went to get it.”

“He went back to Jotunheim.” It was the only thing that made sense.

Frigga looked at him strangely. “No, he, he went to the Vaults. To the Casket.”

But that had happened the first time, and Loki had been unharmed. Father had told him as much, that Loki had confirmed the truth about himself when he touched the Casket of Ancient Winters. What had changed?

“He picked up the Casket. Your father and I were arguing about, well, we were arguing, and he went down to the Vaults and picked up the Casket.”

Thor didn’t understand. That had all happened before. “Then…how did he die?”

“The Destroyer. It, he changed into his Jotun form and it, it didn’t recognize him.” Frigga was sobbing again. “It was created to kill Frost Giants, to, to stop anyone from stealing from the Vault, and it…” She couldn’t continue.

Thor had thought nothing could shock him anymore. Apparently he had been wrong. The Destroyer served Asgard’s king. Surely Odin had foreseen this possibility, had invented the means to keep it from harming Loki…

Except he hadn’t.

“It’s all right, Mother.” She looked up, startled, as he continued. “It does not seem that way now, I know, but it will be all right. I will _make_ it all right.” He reached out and cupped her face, watching as the illusion began to shimmer and fade. “I swear it on my honor.”

The illusion vanished. Thor lay back down on the Midgardian bed and closed his eyes. The day was almost over, and he had much to do on the morrow. There had to be _some_ way of keeping Loki safe, and Thor would find it, no matter how many attempts he had to make.

Surrender was not in his nature.


	7. Attempt ?

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

“Leave me be, I have much to do.” The footsteps retreated as Thor began to think. Things had been going relatively well a couple of attempts ago, until Odin ordered them all to Jotunheim.

He never should have gone. Odin’s orders or not, he had _known_ things would go wrong there.

Maybe he should try to repeat _that_ day. It had been going fine, until the trip to Jotunheim. All he had to do was refuse to go. Or at the very least, insist on waiting a day before making the trip. If Loki could just survive the day, the cycle would be broken. If Loki could just survive the day, perhaps Thor would never need to see him die again.

Please, _please_ , let him never have to watch his brother die again.

Thor got dressed quickly, waited in the anteroom, talked to Loki and Frigga. He proclaimed his oaths without hearing them and was making his way to the Vaults almost before Odin had time to reveal the Jotnar had arrived. He did everything exactly the same, until Odin commanded him to go to Jotunheim.

“No.”

Odin froze, his eye glinting dangerously. “You would refuse the direct command of your King?”

“I must uphold my oaths, Father. I have just sworn to preserve the peace, and going to Jotunheim now _will_ lead to war.”

“As I just told you, this is _diplomacy,_ not a declaration of war. Laufey will…”

“He will not. There is too much bad blood between our people.” Thor swallowed. “You are my king as well as my father, but I will not go to Jotunheim today. Not even at your command.”

Odin spluttered, but Thor stood firm. He would not go to Jotunheim again. Not under any circumstances. Finally he was dismissed.

At least Odin hadn’t banished him to Midgard for the defiance. Not yet, anyway. Frigga’s hand on his arm may have had something to do with that. All things considered, it could have gone worse.

With that taken care of, Thor went looking for Loki. But he wasn’t in his rooms, nor the library, nor the sparring grounds. (Not that Thor had expected him to be there, but by that time he was growing rather desperate.) He wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Then Thor saw the Bifrost open, and he knew.

He took Mjolnir and flew for the Bifrost as fast as he could, cursing himself. Of course whatever madness had overcome Odin wouldn’t be impeded by his refusal. Of _course_ Odin would still send a group to Jotunheim. Why had he not considered that? Why did he only ever think of these things when it was too late?

He landed on the bridge just outside the Observatory, rushing inside without so much as taking a second to catch his breath. “Heimdall! Heimdall, send me to Jotunheim with the others.”

Heimdall didn’t even look at him. “I cannot, my prince. Travel to Jotunheim is forbidden without the king’s express permission.”

“Loki will _die_! You have to send me to him.”

“I cannot.”

“Then bring them _back_! Now, before things go wrong!”

“I cannot disobey my king.”

Cursing again, Thor whirled around. He would go get Odin, he would make him see, make him rescue everyone before Loki could die…

He found out later, from a dispassionate Heimdall, that Loki had perished while he was flying back to the palace. He had been trying to rescue Fandral when he took an ice spear to the chest. Exactly the same as before.

 

* * *

 

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

“I’m awake, leave me alone.”

Determined to fix his mistakes, Thor stood in his mother’s rooms and agreed to travel to Jotunheim, so long as he did so _without_ his brother. Odin protested, citing Loki’s diplomatic skills, but for once Thor was more stubborn. He made the trip, Sif and the Warriors loyally traveling beside him, and began to hope everything would be fine. At least until he turned to his right and Loki was there, illusion fading away.

“What are you _doing_ here?!”

Loki’s lips thinned, his eyes angry. “However little you may think of me, Father _ordered_ me to come along. And since you were being _completely unreasonable_ about the matter, we thought it would be best that I remain hidden as long as possible.”

No. This was _not_ going to happen again. “Brother, that’s not…I know you’re capable. It’s just...” Thor didn’t know what he could possibly say at this point that would make Loki less angry. Not that it mattered. Loki could be as angry as he wanted, if only he would live. “We will discuss it later. But we have to leave, now.” When Loki seemed uninclined to move, Thor grabbed his arm. “Heimdall? Heimdall, open the Bifrost!”

No response. Why had he even bothered to try?

Loki jerked his arm back out of Thor’s grip. “I know this may be difficult for the Mighty Thor to admit, but I am actually _better_ at this sort of thing than you! Now Father wants us to have a talk with King Laufey, and that is exactly what we shall do, if you’re done throwing a _temper tantrum_ over having to take me along!”

“That’s not, Loki…” But Loki was already leaving, striding towards the city without so much as a second glance back. “Loki, wait!”

If Loki wouldn’t stay behind, than Thor was just going to have to make him leave. By force, if necessary. Which since Loki seemed determined to take everything Thor said in the worst possible way, it probably would be.

Sure enough, when Thor tried to grab Loki’s arm again, Loki responded with a spell. Seconds later they were fighting in earnest, with Sif and the Warriors standing on the sidelines, unsure of what to do. None of them were paying enough attention to notice the scouting party, attracted by the noise, that was beginning to creep up on them.

They had broken the truce, after all, and as far as the Jotnar knew they deserved to pay with their lives.

 

* * *

 

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

“Go away!”

Jotunheim. The Vaults. Everything Thor had tried, and Loki always died in one of those two places.

Perhaps what was needed was to bypass the whole scenario entirely.

This time Thor didn’t even bother getting dressed, simply snatched Mjolnir and rushed off to their father’s study. Without a word to anyone, he grabbed Loki and flew off, ignoring Loki’s increasingly angry calls for him to stop. When Loki began to struggle physically, Thor hit him in the head with Mjolnir, knocking him unconscious. He could explain later. If there was a later.

He took refuge in a series of caves, the very same ones that Loki had used when they traveled to Svartalfheim. It was the only place he could think of to hide. Even though Heimdall would know exactly where they were, he wouldn’t leave his post just to give continually updated directions, and no one else in Asgard should be familiar with the layout. Hopefully that would be enough to confuse any pursuit, allowing him and Loki to stay hidden for the rest of the day. If need be, Thor was pretty sure he could remember the location of the portal and slip through to Svartalfheim. Or he could ask Loki where it was, when Loki awakened, although Thor rather doubted that Loki would be in the mood to tell him anything. It was far more likely that he would be forced to use Mjolnir again. But it would all be worth it. There was nothing in these caves that could pose a danger to them.

Loki still hadn’t woken by noon. Thor carried him, slung over his shoulders, as he moved from cave to cave. He wasn’t that familiar with the layout himself, having only been there once, and then in a ship. Fortunately he had been correct. While he knew there must be pursuers, none had yet gotten close. He may have been hopelessly lost by this point, but so was anyone following them.

It was mid-afternoon when he noticed Loki had stopped breathing. Only then did he remember Eir’s cautionary lectures. That head injuries were not to be trifled with. That any period of unconsciousness lasting more than a few minutes required an immediate trip to the Healing Rooms. His frantic attempts at resuscitation failed.

Thor stared at his brother’s body, torn between tears and hysterical laughter. It was fine. It was _fine._ Loki would be fine again tomorrow. What did it matter that Thor had been the one to kill him today?

 

* * *

 

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

Thor flew to his father’s study and grabbed Loki again, this time refraining from knocking him unconscious no matter how much Loki struggled. But when they landed, Thor let go for a second and Loki immediately split himself into several doppelgangers.

“What is _wrong_ with you?” they asked.

Thor lunged for the right one (he hoped), but all of the Lokis danced nimbly back. Thor was stronger, but he didn’t dare use Mjolnir and Loki had always been more agile.

“Please, brother, _please_ , you don’t understand, I can’t watch you die again!”

The Lokis stared at him, anger replaced with identical expressions of concern. “You’re not well. Are you under some sort of enchantment?”

Thor lunged again, and this time managed to catch a Loki by the arm. Or would have caught him, had the illusion not been immediately dispelled. Somehow despite this there were still as many Lokis as there had been before.

“Brother,” the Lokis said soothingly, “Listen to me. Why don’t we go back to the palace and talk to Father? Or perhaps to Eir?”

“Because you will _die_!”

“I promise, if you just come back to the palace with me, I promise I won’t die.”

Thor let out a sob of frustration and struck the ground with Mjolnir.

He wasn’t even surprised when the shockwave caused the ceiling to cave in and bury them both.

 

* * *

 

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

Ignoring the servant, Thor grabbed Mjolnir and flew away. Maybe that was the lesson he was meant to learn, that Loki would be much better off if only Thor were gone. He found the portal to Svartalfheim and wandered around the empty world. He could travel to Midgard again, perhaps. Find Jane. Or maybe she would be better off without him too.

It was Frigga who found him, tears on her beautiful face. It was Frigga who told him that Loki had died in the Vaults, again. This time he and Odin had successfully closed the portal together, but evidently Loki had touched the Casket on accident and noticed the change it created. Odin had seen the change, but had been too busy looking for Thor to talk to his younger son. So of course his independent little brother had snuck back down later to recreate the incident.

The Destroyer had burned him alive.

Thor stared at his mother blankly, ignoring her pleas for him to come home, please, she didn’t know why he had left but she _needed_ him there right now. With a wave of his hand he dispelled the illusion, sat down on the ground, and waited for morning.

 

* * *

 

Thor had lost count of how many attempts he had made. No matter what he did, Loki died. On Asgard, on Jotunheim, stabbed and crushed and _burned_ …

Loki always died.

No matter what he did, Loki couldn’t be saved.

Thor was getting so tired. Tired of watching Loki die, over and over and over again.

He just wanted to make it stop.

But he couldn’t. It never stopped. There was nothing, _nothing_ he could do that would keep Loki alive.

He had thought this was a second chance. A way to fix his mistakes. Now it seemed like a cruel torment. He had once had dreams like this, after Loki fell. Dreams where he kept going back to the moments before Loki let go, saying different things, begging Loki not to fall, over and over and over again.

He had always woken, a scream in his throat, knowing that he had failed. That he would always fail, and Loki would always fall.

Loki would always die.

No. There had to be something he could do, some lesson he needed to learn. He needed to fix what was broken, except he had _tried_ , and all his attempts had failed.

Then he had thought perhaps the timing was the key, and he just needed to focus on keeping Loki safe. If his body survived, his spirit could be mended later.

That, too, had failed.

No matter what Thor said or did, Loki died. The circumstances differed, but the results were always the same.

Perhaps that _was_ the lesson. Perhaps the lesson was that fate couldn’t be changed. Perhaps he had been sent back not to save Loki’s life, but to resign himself to the fact that Loki was dead.

No. _No_. There _had_ to be a way to save Loki’s life. Thor just hadn’t found it yet.

 _You will have one day and one day only to fix what was broken_.

Thor had been operating under the assumption that if he could keep Loki alive for one day, then that would fulfill the requirements of whatever spell had sent him here. If he could just keep Loki _safe_ …

But that couldn’t be the answer, because there _was_ no way to keep Loki safe. No matter what Thor did, Loki died.

Which meant there must be something else.

He hadn’t been returned to the day Loki fell. He’d been returned to the day of the _coronation_. The day when everything went wrong. Things hadn’t been broken when Loki died, that was a consequence, not the cause. Things had been broken when Loki had found out what he was.

But that couldn’t be it either, because there were several attempts now where Loki had never learned of his heritage. He had died believing himself an Odinson by blood, but he’d still died. The secret of his heritage had remained undiscovered, but…

 _Secrets_. Mother had said that once, so many attempts ago. Hadn’t she? That _secrets_ were what had killed Loki. What was it she had said?

_There should be no secrets in a family._

Perhaps there was, after all, one thing left that he hadn’t tried.


	8. Final Attempt?

A knock on the door. “Your Highness?”

“I’m awake.”

For the first time in he couldn’t remember how long, Thor had something new to try. Had _hope_.

_There should be no secrets in a family._

If this was going to work, then the first thing Thor had to do was ensure the portal was closed before the Jotnar could get in. Preferably without Odin learning how the portal had opened in the first place. If the Jotnar didn’t actually attack, then he and Loki might have enough time to talk before things could go wrong again.

Of course, in order to make this work he had to make certain that Loki and Odin closed the portal together. If he couldn’t convince Odin that the portal existed, (and Thor was _not_ looking forward to that conversation), then Loki would just sneak off and try to close it himself. Again. That was the primary reason he had never done this before, because he couldn’t think of any way to stop Loki from dying in the Vaults.

But then, he couldn’t think of any way to stop Loki from dying at all.

He would just have to try and see how it went. Even if everything went wrong this time, perhaps he would learn what he needed in order to make it work tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next.

Plan in mind, Thor got dressed and strode for his father’s study, startling both Odin and Loki when he burst through the door. Well, no sense in wasting any time.

“There’s a portal in the Vaults that leads to Jotunheim. It will take both of you to close it, but you must do so, _now_ , before anything slips through.”

Loki froze, looking guilty, while Odin just looked irritated. “What is the meaning of this? How did you know?”

“I…” Thor frowned. That wasn’t what he had expected. “Is that really the question you’re going to ask? Not if it’s true, or how such a thing could have happened, but how I _know_?” He had expected Odin to not believe him. Had expected Loki to protest, to lie, rather than risk letting Odin know what he had done. Thor’s entire plan revolved around the assumption that he would have to figure out how to keep that from happening. He had thought, had _prepared_ …

Odin didn’t say anything. Neither did Loki. Thor’s eyes flicked between them, searching their faces. Loki still looked guilty. Odin just looked frustrated. Not confused. Not concerned.

It was a look he was accustomed to seeing on Loki’s face, whenever a prank didn’t go the way he planned.

Loki had never been able to close the portal in the Vaults. Odin had. Odin, who had banished Thor for invading Jotunheim in one timeline only to do the exact same thing in another. Odin, who thought nothing of sacrificing the lives of his own people. Who had admitted that the only difference between himself and Malekith was that he planned to _win_.

 _The house of Odin is full of traitors_. At the time, Thor had ignored Laufey’s words as an attempt to demoralize their group, to sow seeds of dissent among them. Later, he’d assumed Laufey was referring solely to Loki. But that wasn’t what Laufey had said.

Not traitor. _Traitors_. Plural.

“Father?”

“Leave us.” Odin’s words were directed at Loki, who turned and left the room, still…smaller, somehow, than he normally was. He shut the door behind him.

“You created the portal in the Vaults. I thought it was Loki, but it was _you_.”

Odin frowned. “Did you really think a sorcerer, even one as talented as your brother, could create a portal in the very heart of _my_ palace without my knowledge?”

“Then why didn’t you stop him?”

“I helped him with the portal because I happened to agree with him. You are not yet ready.”

Thor’s fists clenched. “Then the obvious solution was to simply _not make me king_! Not throw away lives as part of some ridiculous test! Loki could have…”

“Loki has his talents, but he will never be king of Asgard.”

“Because he’s Jotun?” Odin started to speak, but Thor talked over him. “Yes, I know about that too. I just thought it didn’t matter. But it does, doesn’t it? It matters a great deal.”

“I intended to make him king of Jotunheim.” Odin’s voice was quiet now. “It seemed the best solution to everything. He is of royal blood, Laufey’s firstborn despite his size.”

“And he is, of course, completely loyal to Asgard. To you.” Thor was trembling. “Did it ever occur to you that they would simply kill him? I highly doubt the Jotnar would bend their knees to an _Asgardian_ , whatever his lineage.”

“They would in exchange for the Casket.”

Thor couldn’t believe his ears. “The Casket? What does the Casket have to do with anything?”

“Jotunheim is dying. Without the Casket, they won’t live more than another generation. But after Laufey’s attempted conquest of Midgard, we could never trust them with it. We could, however, trust _Loki_ with it. Jotunheim would do anything for that chance to survive. Including, as you put it, ‘bend their knees.’”

More secrets. More _lies_. “That still doesn’t explain why you chose to let Jotnar into the Vault.”

Except it did. Asgard couldn’t simply depose Laufey and put Loki in his place, not after a thousand years of truce. Some factions in Jotunheim might grudgingly accept that, in exchange for the Casket, but it would almost certainly cause a civil war. Meanwhile the other Realms would be suspicious of such an overt show of power. Asgard couldn’t openly interfere with another Realm’s succession in a time of peace.

In a time of war, however…

“You wanted me to start a war.” Odin started to speak, but Thor interrupted him. “You _wanted_ a war!”

“Only a fool wants a war. But we needed one, in order to make this plan work.” Odin started to pace. “What would you have me do? Give the Casket back to Jotunheim with Laufey still on the throne? Overthrow Laufey for no reason, causing the other Realms to turn against us? Do nothing and watch an entire Realm _die_?! No, Thor, I don’t _want_ a war. I simply don’t see any other option.”

It all made sense. Horrible, horrible sense. “And if I were the one to start it, a young prince, whom all the Realms know to be impulsive and quick to anger…” Thor choked on the words.

“You would have been disciplined. Punished. That would have been enough for the other Realms. But not for Laufey. He’s proud, very proud. No amount of diplomacy would have convinced him to ignore that kind of insult.”

“Then once the war was over and Laufey was dead, you could have left Jotunheim under the rule of Asgard and put Loki on the throne. No one in all the Realms would have blamed you for wanting that sort of security, not when you were returning the Casket as well. As a show of good will.”

“That was the plan. But it seems I will have to come up with a new one.” Odin smiled slightly. “I underestimated you, my son. How _did_ you find out about the portal?”

“By living this day before. Over and over again, trying to mend things. Trying to prevent disaster.” Disgusted, Thor shook his head. “No wonder I could never succeed. I didn’t fully understand what it was I was trying to _stop_.”

Odin’s face had gone pale. “You have already seen these events unfold? How?”

“Does it matter? I may not have seen _these_ events, precisely, but I have relived the day more times than I can count. Did you know the Destroyer would kill Loki if it saw him in his Jotun form? Or that he can’t close the portal _you_ opened? He dies if he makes the attempt, every time.”

“I…see.” Odin was frowning again, thinking hard, but he made no further protest.

Thor hadn’t actually expected to be believed. Perhaps Odin couldn’t think of any other explanation.

“We will think of some way to restore the Casket to Jotunheim, one that does _not_ require sacrificing Loki to a world he despises and a throne he doesn’t want. But for now…” Thor shook his head. “Can you close the portal yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Then cancel the coronation and do so. Before someone dies.”

Thor turned, and walked out the door. Odin made no attempt to stop him.

Outside the door, Thor hesitated before making his way to Loki’s rooms. His original plan was in ruins, but he still needed to talk to his brother. Now more than ever.

There should be no secrets in a family.

He knocked, once, twice, three times. There was no answer, but he heard something breaking inside.

“Loki? Please, I know you’re in there, I need to talk to you.” Still no response. “Loki, brother, _please_.”

The door swung open.

Thor stepped inside, hesitantly. Loki was standing in the middle of the room, facing away from him, shaking. Books, magical equipment, various knickknacks their mother had insisted on buying for them year after year…it was all on the floor. Mostly in pieces.

“Brother?” Thor started to reach out, then paused, unsure if the touch would be welcome. “How much did you hear?”

Loki’s shoulders shook, and he still refused to look at Thor, but his voice was deceptively casual. “Oh, I think I stopped listening about the time the Allfather was confessing his plan to make me king of a realm of _monsters_.”

“Loki…”

“Fitting, considering I’m a monster myself.” Thor tried to grasp Loki’s shoulder, but Loki jerked away, furious. “You _knew_! You _knew_ I was Jotun, you _lied_ to me, you all _lied_!”

“I never lied to you,” Thor insisted, feeling his world rip apart again. “Not about that, Loki, please, listen to me…”

“I should have known. It all makes sense now. Of course he favored you, all these years, of course I was never good enough for him, never good enough for _anyone._ ”

“That’s not true! Loki, you may be Jotun, but that doesn’t matter to me, it doesn’t matter to mother. Brother, we _love_ you.” Loki wasn’t listening, probably didn’t hear a word he was saying. Taking a deep breath, Thor reached out, grabbed Loki’s arm, and swung him into an embrace.

Loki fought. He pounded at Thor’s chest, struggling and screaming, trying to make Thor let him go. He was too far gone to think of using magic, and even if he had it was unlikely he would have been able to break Thor’s grip. Thor had done this before, after all.

“We love you, brother. We love you. _I_ love you. You have to understand that, please brother, _you are loved_ …” He wrapped his arms more tightly around Loki and continued talking, his voice breaking now, choked with tears. “You are loved, I love you, this doesn’t change anything, I love you…” He didn’t know how long he talked before Loki finally stopped struggling. Even then, he didn’t let go, didn’t stop saying the words that had become a mantra. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Loki’s arms moved slowly, hesitantly hugging him back, and then suddenly Loki was crying into Thor’s shoulder. “I’m a _monster_.”

“No, Loki, no. You’re not a monster. You never were.” Thor’s hand moved, cradling the dark head. “You never were.”

Loki sobbed, and Thor held him the way he’d wanted to, back after Loki’s fall. When he’d thought about, _dreamed_ about all the ways he could have made things better.

Perhaps minutes passed. Perhaps hours. Thor couldn’t be certain, and to be honest he didn’t care. But finally Loki pulled back, disentangling himself from the embrace, and Thor let him go.

“You knew.” Loki’s voice was small. “How?”

“This will sound very strange, brother, but I have lived through this day before. Several times, in fact. And beyond it.”

Loki’s eyes brightened suddenly at the prospect of a puzzle. “I wouldn’t believe you, except I really cannot think of any other way you would have known all this. You do not often keep secrets, and you’re even worse at finding out those of other people.”

“Yes, well,” Thor said tightly. “I have gotten rather better at that of late, but I should have known that was never the solution. Mother told me, once, ‘There should be no secrets in a family.’ And she was, as always, right.”

“She is the wisest of us, by far.” Loki’s voice was still hoarse, but his lips quirked upwards. “We’ll have to tell her that.” He paused, staring at Thor. “How much did you relive?”

“The first time, things continued on for several more years, but they all went _wrong_. You were so hurt by your heritage, and I think you were trying to prove your loyalty to Asgard, but it, what you were doing, you had to be stopped and I didn’t know why... You tried to _die_ Loki, and all I could do was reach for you and watch you fall away…”

Loki reached for him, concern flickering across his features, and Thor embraced him again. It was easier, somehow, finishing his story with tangible proof of Loki alive and well. “You survived, somehow. I never asked how. But you were different, and you were _hurting_ people, and I had to fight you. Had to stop you. It was like my brother really had died in the Void, and I didn’t know who had come back. But you were still my brother, despite everything, and I didn’t know what to do. Then the Dark Elves returned, and Malekith killed Mother, and I said things to you, things I shouldn’t have said, and I wanted to apologize for them but I didn’t know how, and you died _again_ before I could figure it out, and I didn’t, I couldn’t…”

“Shhh brother,” Loki said soothingly. “All is well. I’m here, and Mother is fine.”

Thor buried his face in his brother’s shoulder. His words were muffled, but he continued, “I can’t watch you die again. Brother, please, I _can’t_.”

Thor realized Loki was stroking his hair. It was oddly calming. “I will do my very best not to die. But if all else fails, and you wake to this day again, you can tell me everything and _together_ we will discover a way out of this dilemma.”

“Together?”

“Of course, brother. Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter note, but with the revelations in this chapter, I thought I'd explain some of my reasoning regarding Odin’s characterization. I do think the events as I outlined them, including “Odin actually being responsible for letting the Jotnar disrupt the coronation,” are perfectly plausible given the information we have.
> 
> One of the things that bothered me a lot in **Thor** was how casual Odin was about the break-in to the Vaults. Loki may have been manipulating Thor with his “They might bring an army next time” comment, but that’s actually a reasonable concern. If we’re to assume that Loki was solely responsible for bringing the Jotnar in, and Odin had no idea how it happened, then the logical conclusion for him to reach is that the Jotnar have some way of breaking in to the palace that they could use _at any time_ and Odin can’t stop them. Sure, they can find and fix this particular breach, but what’s to stop the Jotnar from creating more?
> 
> That’s a scary thought. But Odin doesn’t seem to care, firmly insisting that it was just one small group, nothing to be worried about. 
> 
> Then you have Thor and Co.’s journey to Jotunheim. Travel to Jotunheim is forbidden. Odin never expressly orders Thor not to go, but he’s pretty clear in the Vaults that Thor’s not supposed to. Yet Heimdall lets them through. Heimdall, who spends most of two movies insisting that he can’t directly disobey his king, he’s got to use loopholes. But there’s no loophole there. No “Oh, I’m not _sending_ you, I’m just conveniently walking off and letting you sneak by me.” He just…sends them. Apparently against Odin’s wishes, if not his orders, nearly getting both heirs to the throne killed. He receives no punishment. No repercussions.
> 
> Combining Odin’s lack of concern with Heimdall’s apparent “disobedience” led me to the conclusion that Odin was very possibly behind the break-in the whole time. Odin says in the Vaults that he took Loki “to create a permanent peace” and the general explanation everyone seems to agree on is that Loki was meant to be king of Jotunheim. In my headcanon, this is how Odin was planning on going about making that happen. But then things got out of control, Loki found out he was Jotun and felt betrayed, Odin went into the Odinsleep at the worst possible time, and all his plans fell apart.


	9. Epilogue

Thor woke up, blinking lazily at the ceiling. The last thing he remembered was talking with Loki, (conversation aided by the sizable amount of mead Thor had ordered from the kitchens). Then…nothing. He must have fallen asleep. What had awoken him?

Then it came again, a knock on the door, and Thor _remembered_.

No. No, not after everything, he had found the answer, he had been so sure…

The knocking repeated. “Brother? Have you awoken?” Loki? But if Loki was the one knocking on his door, then that meant…

Thor bolted out of bed and flung open the door just as Loki was about to knock again. “Loki? Loki, please tell me you remember yesterday. Please!”

Loki smiled at him, although it wavered slightly. “I remember, both the good and the bad. It seems whatever cycle you were living through has finally broken.” He hesitated. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have left without saying anything, but you were asleep, and I wanted to talk to Mother.”

Thor beamed at him. Whatever Loki’s reasons, they didn’t matter, because Loki was here, and alive, and _nothing_ could ever separate them again.

“We were thinking, that is, I was thinking, perhaps a respite from Asgard is in order.”

“A respite?”

“Yes. I’m not entirely ready to face Fa… _Odin_ just yet, and I think Mother wants the opportunity to have a few words with him herself. She apparently had no idea what he was planning, and seems less than pleased over the way he handled the matter. Or rather, didn’t handle it. Meanwhile I have no desire to talk to him at all, and am feeling somewhat…disillusioned, with Asgard as a whole. We, _I_ think it would be better if I left for a bit.” Loki smiled hesitantly. “Just to give me some time to think.”

Left. Loki was leaving. Thor wanted to tell him no, wanted to grab him and force him to stay. Loki had done far too much leaving, and Thor _needed_ him to stay.

But Loki wanted to go.

Thor forced a smile on his face. “If you feel that is best for you, then I wish you good fortune on your journey. Just, will you promise to come back and visit? Often? Please, I will miss you, and...” Thor trailed off.

 _And I’m afraid you will die again_.

Loki fidgeted. “Actually, I was rather hoping you would come with me. If you wanted. A bit of an adventure, for the two of us.”

Thor blinked at him, unsure of what to say.

Speaking quickly now, as if he was afraid Thor would interrupt him before he could finish, Loki continued, “Mother has agreed to take up the regency so Odin can sleep. She will contact us if she needs us to return for some reason, but barring unforeseen problems she expects things to go smoothly. So we’re free to leave, if, if you would like.” He swallowed hard, then added, “I…would like very much for you to come.”

Thor felt as if the weight of Asgard itself had been lifted off his chest. “Of course! Of course I will come with you. Anywhere. Have you decided on a destination yet?”

“Not as of yet. Perhaps Vanaheim?”

Laughing, Thor slung his arm over his brother’s shoulders. “Ah, but brother, have you considered Midgard? It is a charming place! The people are friendly, and they have come so far with their technology. No magic, but the wonders they create without it are truly remarkable. The Lady Jane has almost managed…” Thor stopped, suddenly, his face falling.

Loki leaned into him slightly. “A friend?”

“Yes. Yes she…was.”

Thor had known, of course, that he was the only one to remember the years that now would never happen. He had known, but now he thought of Jane’s face looking at him politely, just another stranger she had never met…

“You cared for her.” Loki’s voice was quiet. “If we went to Midgard, would it give you a chance to meet her again?”

It wouldn’t be the same. Thor _knew_ Jane now, while she had no idea who he was. He had changed greatly from the person he had been when they first met, and she might have no use for this person he had become.

“Perhaps, but I do not know if anything would come of it.” Thor managed a smile. “Besides, this is your journey, brother! It is long past time I follow your lead, and let _you_ decide what manner of adventure we find.”

Unsurprisingly, Loki wasn’t fooled. “Tell me of her.”

Thor wavered, but Loki raised an eyebrow and he found himself giving in. “I think you would like her, brother. She is a woman of knowledge, of science, that seeks to understand the marvels of the universe. I think...” Thor hesitated. “I think she would like you too.”

“Then Midgard it is, and together we will find your Lady Jane.”

“Are you certain, brother? I would go with you to Vanaheim…”

“Yes, but we’ve been to Vanaheim. Perhaps what I need now is something new. I _am_ curious to see what kind of marvels the humans have managed to create without magic. They must be impressive, for you to be so fascinated by them.” Loki paused, staring intently at Thor. “Brother, if I am not happy on Midgard, I will tell you and we can go somewhere else. This is no sacrifice on my part.”

It wouldn’t be the same. But perhaps, just perhaps, that was no reason not to try.

Thor grinned. “If you are sure, then let us go to Midgard! But I should warn you that if we find Jane, her assistant Lady Darcy will be there as well. Her “Taser” may be small, but it can summon lightning as easily as Mjolnir.” He clapped Loki on the shoulder. “Consider yourself warned, brother.”

Loki smiled back at him, and for the first time in _forever_ , there was a hint of playful mischief dancing in his eyes.

“When do we start?”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a time-loop fic. As such, there is Major Character Death, but it doesn't exactly stick. Everyone will be alive by the end of the story, I promise!
> 
> Updates will be on Mondays and Thursdays.


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